Thorpedo's comeback talk gets soggy
The Circus was all a-flutter yesterday when news broke that Australia's greatest Olympian Ian 'Thorpey' Thorpe was considering a comeback.  

Alas, our hopes were soon dashed.

"My position at the media conference in 2006 announcing the discontinuation of my competitive swimming career has not changed," said Thorpe, proving that while swimming might be out, a career as a public service policy writer could definitely be the go.

However, there has been mixed messages emanating from camp Thorpe. Manager Dave Flaskas said a Thorpe comeback was "one of those never-say-never situations"; coach Tracy Menzies has backed a return; and the man himself cryptically told a convention on the weekend that he had "walked away, not retired."

But wait – doesn't The Circus remember Thorpey running into some financial difficulties not so long ago? Didn't Alan Jones offer to help him out of the mire?   

No wonder a re-continuation of his professional swimming career is on the cards.

6s are good: English brains trust
England has never won a major international cricket tournament but that could be about to change.

In the tactical equivalent of the winged keel, England Twenty20 captain Paul Collingwood has foreshadowed aggression as his team's secret weapon for the T20 world championships.

Not dismayed by the South African first XI's failure the previous day, Collingwood said: "We want players who can take on the early overs and ... hit it seriously hard."
 
Strategic thinking this sharp should come with a warning to kiddies written on the side. But perhaps Collingwood would have done better to keep the crafty scheme under his Eton-style cap.

You see, the West Indies picked up on the aggression theme and plundered the 35 balls it had to face for enough runs to secure victory under the Duckworth-Lewis method of determining a winner in the most absurd manner possible.

The mouse that roared
For a country supposedly founded on an ethos of 'she'll-be-right-mate', our indigenous game sure has a broad punitive streak.

The AFL has come down heavy on umpire Scott McLaren, Jeff Kennett has come down heavy on Hawthorn, and the judicial system has come down heavy on the Brisbane Lions.

Brisbane is being sued by merger partner Fitzroy for a change of logo which it contends breaches a clause in the merger agreement.

Ingeniously, Brisbane asked for a security order guaranteeing costs should it lose the legal battle, but a Supreme Court judge ruled against the order, saying it "would unfairly stultify Fitzroy's right to litigate."

It was the club's first win since round eight, 1996.

And we call him Robbo
Australia's Neil Robertson has won the world snooker championship. He did it without taking bribes, betting against himself, hoping his opponent would collapse or giving the finger to any of the balls . . . but The Circus thinks he is tops anyway.
 
Mascot watch
That bloody Santa Claus has a lot to answer for:



Numbers game
300,000,000 – estimated number of golf balls lost each year in the United States 
2,200 – golf courses professional ball restorer Gary Shienfield is in partnership with for his pre-owned balls business
20 – US dollars Shienfield charges for a dozen reconditioned balls
100,000 – golf balls discovered by a 2009 sonar search of Loch Ness
0 – monsters found by the search

Quotes of the day
"I know they are frustrated but should they be throwing punches at people? A good few landed and I am a big lad and can take them. But should they be throwing them?"
- Crystal Palace's Clem Hill asks what is a fairly reasonable question after he was attacked by Sheffield Wednesday supporters following a victory that ensured his team's survival in the Championship division.

"He, he, he salop!"
- Old Creole insult that has something to do with your mother.  

Headline we'd like to read
Kennett leads with 'He, he, he salop!' in latest website rant


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