Even after last night's results, European powers including Spain, Portugal, Germany, England, Italy and France, have played 12 times in the 2010 World Cup for a combined total of just three wins.
What is going wrong?
In some cases, it is obvious. Of course, not content with being outdone by the French, the English raised a mutiny of their own . . . sort of.
But if John Terry is Fletcher Christian, he may be a while finding his Pitcairn Island. He has been cut adrift, while the good ship England lists uncertainly toward the knockout stages.
Team unrest has even spread to Ghana, and who could forget the hubbub surrounding the Australian camp in the wake of the thumping by Germany?
In short, this World Cup has seen more unravelling than a twine factory invaded by an army of frisky kittens.
And yet, the manager with the slipperiest grip on reality – the one pundits all predicted would be the first to feel the force of player and media backlash – has endured and his team looms as the tournament's most accomplished.
Why? Because this is clearly the bizzaro World Cup: up is down; black is white; New Zealand is good.
So for god's sake, Pim Verbeek, before the Serbia match, grow a beard, buy a vuvuzela, promise nakedness, play a 1-1-8 formation – do anything to follow to the Maradona blueprint and get the Socceroos to the next round.
The All-England lawn tennis championships began overnight and, perhaps unwilling to be totally outshone by events in South Africa, opened with a little controversy.
Apparently, Andy Murray informed the world in his erudite Scottish drawl that the tradition of bowing to Wimbledon's royal box didn't exactly lift his sporran.
Outcry followed in the English media, which accused Murray of . . . well, of being Scottish.
She grabbed her own boobs a lot too, but even that couldn't save her from being banned.
17 – fours hit by Pakistani thrashing machine and sometimes batsman Shahid Afridi in the ODI against Bangladesh
60 – balls faced by Afrdidi
124 – runs scored by Afridi
206.66 – Afridi's strike rate
22 – people remotely interested in Afridi's feats, coinciding as they do with the World Cup
Quote of the day
“It’s just not true. No one in Spain was blaming Sara Carbonero whatsoever, apart from maybe one or two morons on internet forums." – The Guardian's Spain reporter Sid Lowe drops a double bombshell: not only do the Spanish not blame their goalkeeper for the loss to Switzerland, but there are morons using internet forums.