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Enlarge textPhilip Gomes agrees with The Daily Telegraph, Sydney cyclists have too many rights and it's time for those feral freaks of fitness to get off the bitumen.
A cyclist taking up a valuable lane in Communist China. (Image: Getty)
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In an unsigned editorial in Sydney's Daily Telegraph today, the writer notes how unfair life has become for motorists, who were in the city first.
The
editorial observes that cyclists are now enjoying more than their share
of fair treatment out there in commuterland and people are suffering.
Well
this writer agrees and has noticed the hand-to-mouth existence of the
afflicted motorist as a two-wheeled miasma drifts into [their] well
padded air conditioned cabins rendering them incapable of steering,
signalling and observing speed limits.
This must stop! Something must be done about this horrible equity lest it infect other aspects of society.
Melbourne
has already been lost to these invaders of the road and before you know
it Sydney will be infested with feral cyclists and their foreign ways -
it's time to draw another line on the road.
Worse for motorists
is the prospect of a Copenhagen-like takeover of our streets, as
depressing to many as a boatload of refugees 'jumping the queue' and
making a valuable contribution to Australian life.
Let one use
the roads and before you know it we'll be overrun with more of them,
demanding not only space to ride but their 'rights' as citizens.
It's multi-functionality gone mad in an increasingly politically correct world. As you know I prefer to call a spade a shovel and I'm telling you roads are for cars.
But
that's not all the editorial notes, catering to cyclists is expensive
business - in fact this writer thinks it may be cheaper to house them
offshore, or better yet, send them back to Melbourne or Copenhagen for
their protection.
A tolerant Sydney has bent over backwards to
house and care for these interlopers, building a number of so-called
'lanes' to cater to their needs.
However these lanes do nothing
but send the wrong welcoming signal to cyclists, and anyway they just
sit there denying motorists decent parking and affecting trade.
Indeed
these lanes are a white elephant in the making, Sydney just cannot
afford to cater to more cycling arrivals; with the place almost full.
Taxpayers should be outraged at all this lane building in this time of economic stress. I say make them pay for their own lanes!
This
writer is as generous as the next guy out there, and I'm no cyclophobe
but cyclists don't live in the real world and many of them don't like
our ways.
These utopian vandals even have the temerity to suggest
a mandated 30km limit for motorists. I resent this statist intrusion in
our lives, if I bloody-well want to drive at that speed I'll commute
into town.
I want the freedom to drive down Victoria Road at 30km
in peak hour without the state trampling on my rights. In fact the motoring free
market has already done an excellent job of deciding that is the real
speed limit in Sydney.
The attitude of these newcomers is
suspect; they want to use our roads but they don't want to assimilate
and demand their own space. With that attitude conflict will occur and
it won't be motorists fault.
Even if they're right they are wrong because it's bloody well un-Australian to ride a bike in Sydney.
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Comments (22)
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12 Jan 2011 10:28 AEST
From: Manly, NSW
--
FAIL. @Phil (Ed): I read this article knowing it was a fake. But you've completely failed in your objective at a big joke. It isn't funny at all, because the largely media-fabricated story of a "war between cyclists and drivers" makes this subject confusing and upsetting, and people who don't know where you're coming from will read it literally. Instead of educating or entertaining, you've succeeded in confusing and angering a lot of people. @Chris is actually right - you do need "subtitles", or at least a qualifier. In fact even an apology is not unrealistic.
07 Jan 2011 17:33 AEST
From: murrumba downs
bikes are toys
Push bikes are a thing of the past (,like horses) They are a toy like skateboards,scooters & rollerblades. They have no place on the roads in thia age. They add to pollution by taking up road space with the crazy lanes that are very rarely used while motorists (who pay for the privelige) sit wasteing petrol and polluting the air these so called fitness people breath .
29 Dec 2010 7:47 AEST
From: Victoria
--
C'mon Phil; please let Darryl in on the joke? Even subtitles would not help.
28 Dec 2010 14:50 AEST
From: Sydney
--
Expalin to me this like Iam a 2 year old. Philip Gomes has his blog on a cycling web site, cycling central, a site for the cyclist. Yet he is againts cyclists rights on the road, and what they get, and dont get. So why is he blogging againts cyclist, you should be in favor of the ride. If your not, go blog on a motoring website not cycling.
28 Dec 2010 13:22 AEST
From: richmond
anyone at home?
hilarious! (not the article, but the number of people who seem to be able to read words, but not their intent.) It's interesting that almost all of the respondents who have vented their fury at the writer are from sydney. It wasn't that subtle, what's going on up there?
27 Dec 2010 12:26 AEST
From: greensborough
who said motorist where there first
If we look at the history, I might think that the horse was there first. Then the cyclist and the the motor car. The motorist has lost the fight. the over use of fuel.. lazy lazy fat motorist driving into the cities when they could ride or catch public transport. I have cycled to work some 30km for 30 years now. I obey all the road rules unlike some motorists. I am mindful of all other road users unlike most motorists. AND when fuel and the trains stop, I just keep on peddling.
26 Dec 2010 23:53 AEST
From: melbourne
24 Dec 2010 18:33 AEST
From: Sydney
--
@Chris, yes a few readers may have missed the intent. Robert, Skippy, to be clear I no more agree with the Tele than I agree the moon landing was faked.
24 Dec 2010 15:35 AEST
From: Victoria
--
Sadly Phillip the sublety of your satire was lost on a few respondents. Next time you might need sub titles to explain the story line to Robert.
24 Dec 2010 11:49 AEST
From: Sydney
--
"Build it (a cycling infrastructure) and they will come" - but keep it sensible. I'm a motorist, a train commuter and a cyclist. I would love to cycle to work every day, but I feel some parts of my potential commute are just too dangerous at peak hour. Simple, cost effective cycling infrastructure, covering all major routes into the city and between suburban hubs, can be built without spending billions - after all, cyclists just need a couple of metres along the quieter feeder routes. Building cycleways by utilising the spare land along the main railway lines, where possible, is also an idea that has merit worth exploring. With more cycling infrastructure, we can reduce congestion on the road and on public transport, what genuine motorist or commuter would not find that a good outcome? I want the health benefits of a 60km daily ride, not 2 hours sitting on my bum in traffic or standing on a train. Cycling infrastructure just needs to be planned and approached in a sensible, cost effective manner without the redneck mudslinging from all sides and the shock jocks and politicians having a field day.
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