By
The Backburner

17 Dec 2015 - 3:21 PM  UPDATED 17 Dec 2015 - 3:21 PM

Increasing pressure on the Government to reform the taxation system is being opposed by the business community who are concerned that increases in tax may lead to lower levels of profit.

 

In a proposal put to the Turnbull Government by representatives of several major multinational corporations concerns were raised that any taxation reform could lead to greater amounts of money being spent paying taxes which could result in less money being just given to those who run the business.

 

“We understand the complexity of the problem,” said one representative of the multinationals group. “Everyone wants to keep the economy chugging along. It’s a very difficult time and we’re doing the best we can. This concern needs to be balanced with our place in a society and how we’re benefiting from things like roads which we can transport our goods over or say, hospitals which keep our customers alive. But again, we have to ask at what cost this is all occurring. Perhaps it would be better for me to have money than you.

 

“Some people would think from a purely utilitarian point of view it would be completely unjustifiable that I keep a huge amount of profits while many other people are worse off but this is a misunderstanding of utilitarianism - what it’s really saying is that I must try even harder to enjoy having my money so that my joy can offset all that suffering.

 


More from The Backburner:


  

“It’s absurd that whenever the Government needs money people start pointing fingers at those of us who have money. This is unfair targeting. Why do we always have to get money from the people who have it instead of the people that don’t? I mean, sure the reason they’re pushing for these reforms now is that we’ve only been targeting things like welfare programs meaning that the wealth gap has increased steadily for a decade but surely now we’re far enough away from them that we can pretend not to know them.”

 

Treasurer Scott Morrison has been tight-lipped over any potential reforms but has said that multinationals are not his immediate focus.

 

“We don’t want to move to further taxation on multinationals so quickly. We need to see how much blood we can squeeze from the stones of health care, education, aged care, welfare - you know, the easy targets.

 

“Moving straight to businesses might help our revenue problem but it won’t make the dinner parties I have to attend less awkward. Until we have a solution my recommendation will be what it always has been: remain rich or if you aren’t rich, get rich. Or die trying, really. It’s perfectly fine if you die trying - from a fiscal point of view, at least.”

 

 

 

 


The Backburner is Australia's most trusted news source, it is quite obviously satire and shouldn't be taken seriously or before operating heavy machinery.

For all the latest comedy articles, videos and updates at SBS Comedy like us on Facebook and Twitter.