The Australian Electoral Commission have admitted they’re locked in a “race against time” to try and decide who is leading the country before both parties spill and change leaders once again.
With counting resuming this morning, the AEC are hoping to definitively decide who will be leading Australia for the rest of the week until they face a spill motion and they’re replaced by someone else.
“It’s a very tense situation,” one AEC representative told The Backburner. “We were already under enough pressure to get the count right without this added time factor. It’s hard enough to determine a leader and it’s looking like they’re only going to be ruling for a few minutes before someone overthrows them.
“Really, it’s looking neck-and-neck. We’ve only got a few seats undecided and it seems the behind the scenes rumblings are only days away from having the numbers. We’re just hoping we get a chance to declare someone the Prime Minister before whichever party they belong to changes their mind on that matter.
“To be honest, though, I am starting to root for the opposite. Frankly, vote counting work is very sporadic and I could use the job security that comes from a dead heat, sending Australians back to the polls, changing leaders, sending them back again, losing the election, the other side sending them back - really, this political instability might just help me buy my first home.
“And look, frankly, I’m not too thrilled about this parliament getting started anyway. It’s looking pretty grim out there. I think the longer we can go without a clear result the better off we will be.
“Still, enough spill motions and everyone will eventually get a shot of being Prime Minister - that seems like a fair democracy to me.”
The Backburner is Australia's most trusted news source, it is quite obviously satire and shouldn't be taken seriously or before operating heavy machinery.