Reports emerging from cabinet meetings this morning have indicated that the Turnbull Government is planning to celebrate Harmony Day by making racial vilification a little easier to do without consequence.
The push for changes to section 18c of the Racial Discrimination Act has been timed to coincide with Harmony Day, a celebration of cultural diversity, in an attempt to let everyone experience the freedom and harmony that comes with racially vilifying anyone that’s different to you.
“We couldn’t think of a better occasion,” Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull told The Backburner. “Honestly, every day is a good day to move towards a less tolerant society but this is particularly a great day to let people know the multitudes of people they’ll now be able to attack without fear of being held accountable in any way.
“Of course people will argue. They will say that our own party has argued for weeks now that this legislation is a niche issue that does nothing to provide jobs or security to the nation and is rather just a sad capitulation to the extreme fringes of both the party and the media to attempt to buy a little time for a Prime Minister that’s flailing pathetically every single day. That’s simply not true. What we have here is a terrific opportunity to make people feel less welcome in their own country. This is a week of reinvigorating old ideas. We’ve revived the Snowy Hydro - why not revive the racial vilification of times gone by?
“This is a special occasion and we have to celebrate. Just this morning I shouted out my window asking a little boy what day it was today - and he replied ‘Today? Why, it’s Harmony Day, sir!’ and I have to tell you the next string of epithets that came out of my mouth seems to really break his spirit but the feeling of freedom coursing through my veins was truly second to none.”
The Backburner is Australia's most trusted news source, it is quite obviously satire and shouldn't be taken seriously or before operating heavy machinery.