Lewd behaviour

The ripples, specifically, rippled out in Belgium, where sports website RTBF picked up a story on Monday about Liquigas riders being detained by Oman authorities.

The action followed a Twitter exchange in which a number of riders swapped sauna photographs – reportedly as an in-joke.

Commenting on the team's arrest, Oman's foreign minister said the government expected cyclists to respect Oman's laws and customs. "We have paid extravagant dollars to the UCI in order to project a friendly tourist environment, and this pornographic behavior is a spit in the face," he said.

UCI president Pat McQuaid was even more colourful, adding: "This isn't some sort of American university frat party. This isn't American Pies. This is cycling. And if they want to race, they have to abide by the rules of all the oppressive regimes where we set up our races."

It will have been McQuaid's mention of oppressive regimes, or possibly American Pies, that tipped you off the story was a spoof. It originated on snark-filled website Cyclismas, who are also carrying a story this week on Alberto Contador's reality TV debut. The perils of internet translation can perhaps be blamed for RTBF's failure to realise the same, and a cautionary tale lies within for all those who combine a cavalier approach to fact checking with their seat-of-the-pants journalism. There but for the grace of God, etc.

The week in ...

... cures

British track queen Victoria Pendleton is relaxed in the build-up to the Olympics, Cycling Weekly reports. Which is lovely for Pendleton and also somewhat startling, given her previous revelations that she is one of the most wound-up athletes in sport. In November 2010 Pendleton told the Guardian she had nightmares in which she was chased by a murderer and would rather stick pins in her eyes than race. Whatever Team GB has found for Pendles that works, perhaps they could bottle it and send it to Graeme Brown. (Perhaps it is the shampoo)

... opportunities missed

Adopted Aussie Koen de Kort slipped into a skin suit in Oman, as revealed here by Cycling Central's own Sophie Smith on Twitter. Disappointingly, it was in regulation 1t4i team colours, and not the full body muscle edition pioneered by Mario Cipollini in the early '90s.

... limbo

Andy Schleck has not yet been upgraded to the status of World's Most Reluctant Tour de France Winner. Meanwhile, Saxo Bank wait to learn whether Alberto Contador's suspension will cost the team its place on the World Tour. L'Equipe compared Pat McQuaid's recent comment on the loss of Contador's points to the sword of Damocles, but Bjarne Riis's team is yet to be informed of a possible downgrade. "This sucks for the team, and also for the whole of cycling," Saxo Bank sprinter Nick Nuyens told Sporza. "Bjarne Riis and the team leaders ... they know as much as we do."

... cooking

"I've got my bin just in case," is not the sort of line you hear from Heston Blumenthal. An already beetroot-red Mitch Docker tests how much chilli sauce can be served to GreenEDGE staff within a single roll of puff pastry.



... anniversaries

Eight years ago on Tuesday the world lost Marco Pantani. La Gazzetta dello Sport pays tribute.

Dispatches from the Twitterverse

my thoughts today go out to all the riders doing Tour of Oman. It's a very tough race, every single pornsite is censored there. Good Luck! - @simongeschke

Ace ventura 2 is on... Is he in real world as crazy and funny like in the movie...!!!?? Already a bit it would be enough... - @f_cancellara

Classic YouTube

This wrap of last month's Berlin Six-Day is a nice snapshot of what happens when track cycling meets Europop, open top coupes, disco balls and sellout crowds. Also: the most unsettling podium music ever. Cameos by Aussie champs Leigh Howard and Cameron Meyer.