Infidelity : Overview : SBS Insight

Overview

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We love reading about high profile cheaters. Is it because they touch a nerve in our own lives?

Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse James.. is monogamy realistic?

While statistics on infidelity are notoriously unreliable, some surveys say up to 70 per cent of us cheat – and women are catching up to men.

Despite our cheating ways, it seems that marriage and monogamy remains what most of us want.

So why are some couples able to survive infidelity while for others it’s the end of their relationship?

Does it matter if it was just sex? Should you always tell your partner if you have strayed, or is it better to keep it secret?

We want to explore whether it’s really possible to forgive and forget or whether the damage always stays with us.

Is monogamy still the best model?

Join us as we bring together couples from all walks of life to talk about how they have worked through infidelity in their relationship.

Meet the Guests

Lyndal and Andrew Coon

Lyndal and Andrew have been together for over 20 years. Just after the birth of their first child 17 years ago, Lyndal suspected that Andrew was cheating. Eventually Andrew admitted to being unfaithful, but not in the way that Lyndal had suspected.

David King

David King has been a private investigator for almost 15 years, and most of his work involves investigating possible infidelities. David estimates that when he follows someone, about 80% of the time he finds evidence that there is an infidelity going on. He says the figure would be higher if his clients could afford to hire him for longer.

Lotah and Eshua Bolton

Lotah and Eshua have been together for 5 years and have three children. They practise polyamoury which means they are free to have relationships with other people. They don’t recommend this kind of arrangement for everyone.

Rachel Viner and Darryl Stanley

Rachel and Darryl have been together for more than two years. Rachel believes strongly in monogamy, having been cheated on in previous relationships. Darryl has been married twice before and admits to straying in the past. He says he is now committed to being faithful to Rachel.

Dr Rosie King

Dr Rosie King is a sex and relationship therapist and has been advising couples who have experienced infidelity for more than 20 years. She believes we are not monogamous by nature and that fidelity is a choice.