Excessive praise makes bullies, experts say

30 May 2012, 7:00 pm   -   Source: Allan Raskall, SBS
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New research has recognised a disturbing link between endlessly praising children and child bullying, experts say.

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New research has recognised a disturbing link between endlessly praising children and child bullying.

Professor Toni Noble at the Australian Catholic University believes the link has to do with self-esteem.

“Some children who bully, they have an over-inflated sense of their own importance,” Professor Noble said.

“Compared to a common misunderstanding that children who bully have a low self-esteem.”

And is not just Professor Noble. Child psychologist Doctor Michael Carr-Gregg has also seen the trend.

“If you create a culture of entitlement, a culture of indulgence, that’s going to lead to them thinking they’re entitled to anything and everything,” Doctor Carr-Gregg said.

The fear is that can sometimes lead to assertive and aggressive behaviour.

Many seem to agree with the experts in that any praise given to children must be realistic. So it’s parents who are being urged to set boundaries.

“[It’s] very, very important for us to understand parents should be in authority over their kids, we can’t have the tail wagging the dog,” Doctor Carr-Gregg said.

It's claimed some children need a reality check but the message for parents is it’s alright to make mistakes and fail.

“Failing helps us learn from our mistakes and that’s absolutely crucial for learning,” Professor Noble said.

Watch this report on YouTube:

Bullying , Child Psycology

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Your Comments

Bullied parents

Julio - from Leichhardt, Sydney, 1 year

It's not uncommon to see kids getting whatever they want to parents, who accede to their demands. If children can bully their parents without objection, no wonder they expect to be able to bully other children.

Realistic confidence and self-esteem

Emerald - from Lennox Head, 1 year

Entitlement & self-confidence based high self-esteem, rather than outcomes, are highly unattractive characteristics. Parents are crutial in building children's self-esteem but self esteem needs to be realistic, and based on results. Cliches like ' you can be anything you want if' aren't helpful. Not everyone can be PM, a multi-millionare or a yogi guru. However, it is important to encourage children to be the best that they can be (and praise them as they work towards that), & kind, not bullies.

It's not alright

Michael - from Queensland, 1 year

It's all right, it's not alright.

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