Accused mum believed dead baby would wake

2 Aug 2012, 6:08 pm   -   Source: AAP

A mother accused of murder for leaving her 17-month-old daughter in the bath to drown has told the court she had an "out-of-body experience".

A mother who had left her toddler to drown in the bath lay in bed with the dead child and got in and out of the bath for two days before telling anyone, a Sydney trial has heard.

The 27-year-old mother, who can't be named for legal reasons, broke down in tears as she told the NSW Supreme Court she felt like she was "having an out-of-body experience" when she put her daughter in a bath, turned on the tap and walked out of the room.

"It was like watching myself from above, like that was someone else and I couldn't do anything to stop it," she told the court on Thursday.

The woman was giving evidence at her trial.

She has pleaded not guilty to murdering her daughter at her Gwynneville unit near Wollongong on July 21, 2009, but guilty of manslaughter on the grounds of substantial impairment.

"I remember snapping out of it," she said.

"I went into the bathroom and (the child) was laying there face down.

"I just grabbed her and cried."

She said she did not notify anyone of the death for two days and tried to commit suicide by taking a cocktail of drugs and alcohol.

Over the two days she would "lay with (the child), then hop back in the bath".

"I didn't believe that I did it. I also believed she would wake up," the woman said.

The court heard she and the baby's father, who had separated, had been arguing and she had discovered he was seeing another woman.

He had also threatened to take custody of the child.

The mother said she had written a "suicide note" to the baby's father and a letter to her own mother but later told psychiatrists she didn't intend to kill herself.

The typed notes were written on July 18, three days before the child's death, and began with the words "I'm not proud of what I've done."

"By that you were meaning not proud of the death of yourself and your daughter?" crown prosecutor Michael Fox asked her.

"What you did was, you carried out the plan that you had formulated about taking her life from as early as the 18th?"

"No," the woman replied.

The court heard she had been accessing websites about suicide from as early as July 14, 2009.

On the previous day the woman had sent a message to her former partner saying, "You could have saved us," a comment she said referred to their relationship and not to her daughter.

"You felt that (the father) had a good chance of taking custody of (the child)?" Mr Fox asked.

"At the time I did, yes," she said.

"That's the reason you turned the tap on and allowed her to drown?" he said.

"No," she replied.

The court heard the woman had told the father, police and another friend that her 17-month-old daughter had slipped in the bath and drowned "accidentally".

Psychiatrist Olav Nielssen, who examined the mother five times after her arrest, told the court he had diagnosed her with depressive illness.

He said her symptoms of feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience were consistent with experiences reported by some other people with mental illnesses.

Earlier, the court heard from another psychiatrist, Professor David Greenburgh, who told the court the mother had "many motives and explanations for her actions".

The trial is continuing before Acting Justice Michael Grove.

* Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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