The Circus

The full Brazilian
Look, it may not be Rio de Janeiro, but can Manchester be all that bad? One place has beaches, gorgeous girls cavorting about in dental-floss bikinis and the 2016 Olympics; the other has a network of dank canals, Ena Sharples and Man City. Seems a fair swap, but cranky Brazilian footballer Robinho apparently has decided he doesn't want to spend "another day in Manchester" and his City career looks like going bosoms up.

Robinho came to Eastlands 14 months ago, clearly lured by something other than the charms of Manchester's gentrified inner city… maybe it was the 160,000 shiny English pounds in non-consecutive notes slipped into his pocket each week? Well, regardless of the tidy wedge stuffed into his mattress every Thursday, Robinho wants out.

Well, what choice does he have? City has disposed itself of all his Brazilian buddies – Elano to Turkey, Jo on loan to Everton, someone called Glauber Berti to somewhere or other – and, by the by, the weather's crap. Plus, apparently they speak English in England, which neither he nor Mrs Robinho cares to learn.

To top it all off, he has already been forced to move house because neighbours were peeved over the constant playing of Brazilian music, the cheerful Mancunians clearly preferring to contemplate self-harm while listening to Joy Division than doing the samba and drinking caipirinhas to The Girl from Ipanema.

Buy and sell
For sale: 1994 Ford. Only one owner. Low miles. Economical 3.5-litre engine. Slightly gaudy paint job. Engine overhauled. Lots of spare parts, including two sets of wheels. Laptop computer thrown in. Only been in one minor collision when last driven in Adelaide on a Sunday. Import duty and VAT paid by the seller. Offers around 2.6 million euros.

Bats in their belfry
Toyota has announced its departure from Formula 1, ostensibly to concentrate on its core business, which presumably is shifting motor vehicles. Frankly, after seeing Toyota's proposed design for its 2010 racing car we're not surprised they bailed out.



Curling a mo
The Movember concept is a great thing, a fund-raiser for prostate cancer research that has the welcome side effect of giving us a chance to laugh at the efforts of various Fox Sports presenters who look like particularly feeble caterpillars have died on their top lips. Lee Furlong, we're not talking about you.

For us, Merv Hughes, part-time Australian cricket selector and pay-TV virgin, offers the ultimate in sporting moustaches, but baseball fans have their own nominations for the best 'taches in baseball history – so good are they, that they had to present them as part one and part two.

Going the biff
You may have seen the video of Elizabeth Lambert's excellent work in a recent football match for her team, the University of New Mexico Lobos, against the BYU Cougars. Given that the Cougars were probably a bunch of middle-aged women preying on fit young fellas, they no doubt got what they deserved.

But come on, Liz. High school girls could do better. Socket, indeed.



The numbers game
40 – lashes Sudan-based Nigerian footballer Stephen Worgu will face after being found guilty of drinking alcohol
2.7 billion – amount in British pounds by which public spending on the 2012 London Olympics has exceeded the promised limit
9.325 million – the promised limit

Quote of the day
"He wouldn't try and con the ref. He's a lad with very good education, correct and polite. Maybe he fell down because he was worried about being injured. At times players make very hard challenges in England. They allow a lot of things to defenders in the Premier League. Sometimes there are challenges that can assassinate you. A defender could get five matches for throwing his shirt and the player who broke the leg of Eduardo only had a three-game suspension. Did the defender put the safety of the player in danger? You have to look at things in a more reasonable proportion."
- Liverpool striker David Ngog's agent, allegedly named Bruno Satin, stretches credulity beyond all reasonable measure in defending his client's penalty-winning dive… sorry, "simulation".



Headline we'd like to read
Robinho changes name to Robinhood, joins Nottingham Forest


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