The Circus

And the winner is …
Everyone knows that Melbourne is the sporting capital of the world – just ask Melburnians. And now it has been officially confirmed. Sort of. The incredibly prestigious and time-honored SportBusiness Sports Event Management Awards – no, we've never heard of them either, but they are in their third year – have named the Victorian capital as 'Best Sports City'. Hoorah.

Apparently, so prestigious are these awards that more than 150 entries were received. Gosh. And, as the SportBusiness Etc Etc website breathlessly proclaims, more than 200 guests attended the glittering awards ceremony in London. Mmmm, donuts.

Melbourne was one of nine recipients of prestigious awards in such prestigious categories as 'Security'. A round of applause please for the winners, Sword Event Guard International for ensuring that Al-Qaeda did not disrupt the Galway Stopover Festival bit of the Volvo Ocean Race.

OK. Nine categories and more than 150 entries. So, let's say Melbourne beat about 20 other cities for the prestigious title. Cool. Actually, to be precise, the award went to the Victorian Major Events Company for the City of Melbourne.

Runner up was the Senate Department for the Interior and Sport for the City of Berlin and third was the Qatar Olympic Committee for the City of Doha, which last time we checked hadn't been awarded the Olympics. We can only hope a state holiday has been announced in Victoria.

IPL balls up
A meeting of Indian Premier League franchise holders held in that epicenter of world cricket Bangkok – probably in one of those nice Patpong bars – has agreed to trial the use of pink balls – OK, definitely in one of those nice Patpong bars – in warm-up matches and practice sessions.

It's truly exciting news … apparently. MCC assistant secretary John Stephenson was agog at the IPL's wonderful gesture: "The successful use of pink balls in the IPL would be a major step towards their acceptance in international cricket, as it would expose most of the world's top Test players to the ball. It would also add further weight to the IPL's standing as a progressive force in the game."

Yep, pink balls. That's progress for you.

In the headlines
Headline that didn't surprise us: Tyson in fracas with photographer.

Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson is being investigated on "suspicious of misdemeanour battery", which is US legal-speak for biffing a paparazzi type. Tyson's posse says the photographer tried to follow Iron Mike into an airport toilet.

Headline that did surprise us: John Daly wins place on US skeleton team.

We knew the big fella had been losing weight, but that's ridiculous. Still, he's used to wearing wacky and ill-fitting costumes, so the lycra suit will be fine. Pardon? Oh, sorry, wrong John Daly. Carry on.

Girls on film
Yesterday we brought you two doses of female aggro on the football field, and fine efforts they were, too. But now let's take you back to sunny 1983 and a report from Fantastico about a contretemps between a Brazilian women's team and a referee.



We know it's 1983 because the women are all wearing Warwick Capper shorts. And how about that referee? Fantastico!

Row, row, row your boat
Terrific sport, rowing. Only problem is that you do it backwards, which is why you have a cox.



The numbers game
Two – Manchester United matches that Sir Alex Ferguson will spend watching from the grandstands after the Premier League penalised him for language and demeanour unbecoming of a knight of the realm in saying bad things about referee Alan Wiley. He was given four matches, but half is suspended.
20,000 – UK pounds that Ferguson will have to fish from his pockets to pay the fine that accompanied the touchline ban.
14 – English Premier League clubs that voted against a Bolton proposal for a two-tier premiership that would include Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers.

Quote of the day
"Ferguson is a very complicated man. He's tough. If things are all right, then they are all right. But when he thinks something is wrong, everything is screwed. He can go from complimenting you to just plain trashing you in a matter of minutes. Has it happened to me? Hell, yes. He'll say 'Nani, how could you miss this or this'?
- Man United's Portugese winger Nani explains how Sir Alex Ferguson is really angry that he's not Ronaldo.

Headline we'd like to read
Let's play with blue balls, says IPL chief after Patpong meeting


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