The Circus

Whack, whack, WHACK!
Far be it for The Circus to tell the NFL how to lay down the law, but three fines handed down by the league recently are worth having a second look at.

Last week we told you how Chicago Bears linebacker Tommie Harris lost his cool and whacked Cards' O-lineman Deuce Lutui (excellent name btw) in the head as hard as he could.

Harris was fined $7,500 for the foul-tempered incident.

That same weekend The Circus' favourite, Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, had a little fun with the officiating crew when he took out a dollar bill in a mock attempt to sway the ref's decision on a close line call.

The NFL, in true No Fun League fashion, fined old Ocho a hefty $20,000 for the prank. No stranger to league fines, the unfazed wide receiver promised to donate the same amount to charity.     

Last weekend Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams over-stepped the mark when he gave some traveling Buffalo fans a couple of one-fingered salutes during his team's big win.

The NFL's response? Do not pass go and pay a fine of $250,000!

Maybe Bud should've punched the Bills' fans instead of flipping them off. Hurting someone's feelings is a lot more costly than hurting someone's head.

A star is born
Turning to US college hoops, prized recruit John Wall saved No.4 ranked Kentucky's blushes against unheralded Miami of Ohio when he hit the game winner with just 0.05 s left on the clock in his debut for the Wildcats.


    
Wall is considered this year's standout college recruit and while his first-up, last-second heroics were pretty impressive, this guy puts him in the shade.



Wall, nonetheless, looks to be a young man with a very bright future. But if he's to reach the rare NBA air occupied by the likes of Jordan, Shaq and King James he'll need to get cracking on a marketing tool/nickname.

Great Wall? Load-bearing Wall? Wall-banger? Hmmm, leave it with us…

Van Persie to kick like a mule
Holland and Arsenal superboot Robin Van Persie has come up with a novel way to speed his recovery from an ankle injury suffered while on national team duties last weekend.

Seems a well-meaning Serbian doctor/shaman has gotten into his ear about the benefits of horse placenta.

He won't have to actually ingest the concoction – that would be silly. No he'll have it liberally slathered all over the affected area with the torn ligaments under the skin good as new in no time.

Dubious manager Arsene Wenger has begrudgingly allowed his star striker to fly off to Serbia to undergo the treatment in the faint hope he'll forego his multi-million dollar contract on his return in favour of a handful of sugar cubes and a good brushing.

Numbers game
2 – the number of middle fingers owned by Tennessee Titans boss Bud Adams
250,000 – the size of the fine handed down by the NFL after Adams showed those fingers to Buffalo Bills fans
1,100,000,000 or 1.1 billion – Adams' estimated net worth
0 – minutes sleep lost by Adams after being fined by the NFL

Quote of the day
"My rapper name is Lil Bugatti V Esteban Ocho Cinco the Mexican Assasin the 3rd!"
– Chad Ochocinco, via Twitter. While catching passes in the NFL and launching his own news network, Ocho has also found the time to record a rap album. The man is intent on world domination.

Headline we'd like to see
Van Persie pleased at pony placenta side-effect in pants


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