The Finktank

Can it get any more humiliating for Shoaib Akhtar?

The Rawalpindi Express, a man who instilled crotch-wetting fear in the hearts of the world’s best batsmen and bowled the fastest delivery in the history of cricket in the process, has become a byword for comedy.



First, it was genital warts keeping him out of Pakistan's squad for the World Twenty 20. Akhtar opted to stay at home and subject himself to a course of electrofulgration treatment, which is a nice way of describing getting your goolies zapped.

Now it appears he's just too fat to bowl a ball. Akhtar won't be touring Australia this summer because he's just undergone liposuction, despite the deputy director of the country's Sports Board declaring it would have no bearing on his cricket.

Said Dr Waqar Ahmad: "The shedding of weight of more than 12 kilograms might help him only when he will improve his muscle strength and stamina. Considering his age, I don't think he will be able to show any kind of improvement as compared to his last previous [sic] performance."

For the record, Akhtar is 34, an age when most professional cricketers are thinking of giving the game away, but Akhtar is one of those unusual cricketers who actually hasn't played much cricket – just 46 Tests and 144 ODIs.

Injuries, suspensions, politics and some of his own misjudgements have had a part to play in that.

But there's money to be made in the new game in town – the Indian Premier League – and so all kinds of reasons for him to stay in the sport for as long as his body will allow.

Where once ageing cricketers turned to the speaking circuit and spruiking commercial products to make money once their international careers were over, now they can go to India and earn the same payday in a fraction of the time. (Akhtar was briefly with the Knight Riders of Kolkata but released.)

Every man is entitled to make a living so I sincerely hope his operation is a success and he can make a return to the game in some form. But looking back over his career you can only arrive the conclusion that his has been a wasted talent.

Had he less attraction to the fast life we would have seen much more of him and he would be a far more popular figure than he is. (His signed merchandise on his personal website isn't selling fast and is currently heavily discounted.) So he should see this time out as a big opportunity for not only physical but personal transformation.

If he can shed a bit of the ego as well as the weight, he stands a chance of not just winning a few games like he used to but winning a few new fans as well.


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