The Circus

Let's hear it for snow bunnies
As the Winter Olympics edge closer to their conclusion, The Circus applauds the efforts of the hundreds of dedicated elite athletes who have competed in Vancouver.

Their herculean performances have been an inspiration to sports fans worldwide – but none, so far, have come close to impressing us as much as Prince Hubertus von Hohenlohe-Langenburg.

A veteran of five Olympics, the 51-year-old German-born Mexican skier placed 78th in the giant slalom.

But it's his off-piste form that has The Circus cheering wildly.

While his competitors spent the weeks leading up to the Games training diligently and preparing themselves for a personal-best performance, the Prince surrounded himself with naked female ski instructors as he shot a Playboy calendar in the Austrian Alps.

With a training regime like that, it's no wonder Von Hohenlohe was a little distracted in Vancouver.

Urgent memo #1
To the managers of elite British sporting teams: when your players get on the drink, ensure they have absolutely no access to alternative and slightly wacky modes of transport.

The exploits of star cricketer Andrew Flintoff and his inebriated handling of a pedal boat just prior to the 2007 World Cup made headlines around the globe and cost Freddie the vice-captaincy of the national team.

Now, Welsh rugby union international Andy Powell has fallen into a similar trap.

Fresh from sinking his 3000th beer of the evening, Powell got a little peckish. With the hotel kitchen closed, a local service station just down the highway was his best option for a late-night feed.

(The Circus has its own misgivings about Powell's cravings for a crusty old servo kebab, but we digress.)

How best to get there? Clearly, driving a car was out of the question. Walking was way too much effort. But those golf buggies were so temptingly parked just next to the entrance…

The poor fellow might have gotten away with it, too, had he not opted to increase his visibility by pilfering a traffic cone and a flashing orange light from the roadside.

We applaud safe driving and all, but Andy, you probably should have gone for stealth just this one time.

Urgent memo #2
To the limousine drivers and chauffeurs of America: do not, under any circumstances, agree to drive professional athletes anywhere. You may get shot.

Such was the tragic fate of Gus Christofi, who met his maker after high jinks in the home of former NBA star Jayson Williams went terribly wrong.

Williams was this week sentenced to five years in jail after pleading guilty to the accidental shooting and subsequent attempts to make it appear as though Christofi had shot himself.

The news of Williams' jail term came on the same day that the trial into the 2007 murder of Denver Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams (no relation) began.

The court heard that a limousine (a stretch Hummer, no less) carrying several Broncos players was sprayed with bullets after members of a gang had been sprayed with the Broncos' champagne in a nightclub on New Year's Eve, 2006.

Williams was shot in the neck and died the following day. Two others were injured.

For the record, The Circus overwhelmingly prefers the Australian custom of shouting a drink for the offended party when they inadvertently wear your beverage.

The numbers game
200 – runs smashed by Sachin Tendulkar in the ODI against South Africa overnight
147 – balls Tendulkar took to become the first man to hit a double ton in a one-dayer
57 – balls taken to club the second of his two tons
46 – times that Tendulkar has reached three figures in ODIs – also a world record

Quote of the day
"These English guys on holiday there were watching and saying to their wives 'Oh darling, if you looked like that, I wouldn't be so tired in the evening'."
- Prince Hubertus von Hohenlohe-Langenburg relates the reaction of onlookers as he shot a Playboy calendar in Austria before the Vancouver Games.

Headline we'd like to read
Curry craving leads to Wayne Rooney's boozy dodgem car shame


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