The Circus

Daly's failings released in white paper … and compact disc
It is a credit to the colourful John Daly that his list of golfing misdemeanors can be contained within a 456-page rap sheet. From trashing hotel rooms while on tour to hitting golf balls off beer cans, Daly's bad-boy form has been as consistently good as his golf has been, well, consistently bad.

But while the breakdowns have been public, the PGA Tour's disciplinary measures have always been private, until now. Daly's file has become public because of a court order to hand it over to a publishing firm, but there are some glaring omissions.

More on that later, but here's what they haven't missed. Daly has been given five PGA Tour suspensions, fined more than $US65,000 and ordered seven times to enter rehab or undergo counselling.

Scuffling with fellow players, swearing at his competitors and playing shirtless and shoeless are some of the other classic Daly moments preserved in the PGA white paper.

But what of the pants? Literally hundreds of pairs of pants that, while entering The Circus's nightmares from time to time, can also be purchased and indeed worn by others (gasp!).

There is also the imminent release of Daly's new CD, I only Know One Way, which includes such seminal tracks I'm Drunk, Damn Broke and All My Ex's Wear Rolexes [sic].

We can't blame the PGA for not squeezing that one into the 456 pages, but come its release date of March 15 The Circus expects action, public or private.

Howard appointment gets mixed reaction, but Bingle effort applauded
Speaking of ill-advised career choices late in life, many a scalp has been scratched following former PM John Howard's nomination for cricket's highest office.

Australia and New Zealand were required to jointly nominate a candidate for the post of ICC president from 2012 and it eventually became a cross-Tasman battle between two Johns: one who rewrote the ICC articles and committee manual and one who bowls like this.   



Sir John Anderson, an ICC board representative since 1995, was New Zealand's nomination, while Australia, not satisfied with the talent within its cricket administration, sought out cricket tragic Howard for the role.

Revered scribblers think Howard can give the ICC political clout within the game, but believe he will need to address his lack of cricketing expertise, as displayed above.    

Already on display, however, are Howard's revered diplomatic skills, the long-serving PM sending a message of support to Michael Clarke's fiancé Lara Bingle after, well, you've seen it.  

"I know Michael and Lara very well," Mr Howard said. "She's a very nice young lady and I could understand how she might be upset by it."

England players muted
A move into politics may well be on the cards for England soccer boss Fabio Capello. Communications minister perhaps.

Capello has banned his players from talking about the John Terry scandal, with an insider revealing the manager didn't want any "whispers in corners".
 
Seeing as none of his players dare mention it, The Circus thought it necessary to exercise our democratic rights one more time and mull over the ins and outs of the former national captain's extra-marital affair.

The Numbers Game
507.5 – billion pounds sterling Manchester United is in debt
1 billion – rough valuation in pounds sterling of United
0 – rough estimation of United fans happy with American Malcolm Glazer's ownership of the club
10 – years supporter group MUST, headed by the mysterious 'Red Knights', has been operating, with a view to eventually bidding for the club

Quote of the day   
"We are not setting a precedent here, we strongly advocate players being solid family-wise so we will cross that bridge when we come to it. There are all kinds of possibilities with the birth of a child. It could be at any stage."
- England cricket selector Geoff Miller says Kevin Pietersen will be allowed to dash back to England from the West Indies when his first child is due, whenever that may be.

Headline we'd like to read
Pietersen caught in Windies, baby not out


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