The Backburner

25 Feb 2015 - 11:05 AM  UPDATED 25 Feb 2015 - 11:05 AM

Human Rights Commission President Gillian Triggs is under fire again today after the Government accused her of having some bizarre bias where she doesn’t want severe physical and mental anguish inflicted on children.


According to the Government, Triggs weirdly doesn’t enjoy knowing there are innocent children right at this moment detained indefinitely without reason. Apparently knowing this doesn’t fill the president of the Human Right Commission with any joy. There’s some talk that she doesn’t even crack a smile when reading reports of unnecessary cruelty inflicted in the name of the Australian people.


The freakish and bizarre claims emerged from a senate estimates hearing into Trigg’s report on children in detention. There are reports that Trigg’s work was so partisan and biased that Senators Macdonald and O’Sullivan didn’t even need to read it to know it was biased.


“This lady, this female woman who isn’t even a man just spends this whole thing complaining and complaining about who is in detention indefinitely and which of them is suffering severe trauma,” claimed Senator O’Sullivan. “How typically female, which is a synonym for bad.”


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“I am absolutely appalled at the levels of bias in this report. It’s on every page,” added Senator Macdonald “At least I think that’s what’s in here. I haven’t actually read it. Why would I do that? I just checked the cliffnotes for ‘tragedies Australia is allowing to continue’.


“Besides, I don’t see any good reason I should have to read a report before running an inquiry into it. Haven’t you people ever heard of spoiler warnings?”


Attorney-General George Brandis has slammed Triggs for what he has categorised as 'biased' and 'one-eyed' thinking.


“Triggs has come into this report completely prejudiced against the idea of locking children in cells away from their families where they are subject to physical abuse,” said Brandis. “Not for one second did she stop to consider that maybe it's actually good and cool that we're imprisoning innocent children. Maybe it's great. Maybe it's the next fad.


“Since when did the Human Rights Commission get so obsessed with everyone having human rights? In my opinion it’s pretty sad to be so obsessed with one thing.


“Anyway, she should be thanking us. What would the Human Rights Commission be writing about if it wasn’t our violations? We’re keeping them in the job.”








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