The Backburner

9 Jun 2015 - 3:53 PM  UPDATED 9 Jun 2015 - 4:43 PM

After a controversial Federal Budget and continued inflated housing prices, exasperated Treasurer Joe Hockey has advised Australian taxpayers to just “have more money” and consider simply “being rich” in the face of new government rebates for business and continued cuts.


“Honestly, it’s not that huge of a deal,” said Hockey after prolonged criticism of Australian housing prices, the Budget and the Government’s general direction. “There wouldn’t be that much of an issue if everyone just had a little bit more cash floating around. We’d be totally fine if that were the case.”


Despite renewed opposition to negative gearing and increased cost of living, there has been little attempt to resolve this from the Government. Speaking from Canberra, Hockey spoke plainly on the issues facing young Australian. “I understand the struggles facing young people today, but most of them could be alleviated if they simply had more money, or considered making more money in the very near future.”


In response to the problem of housing affordability, Hockey was committed. “Houses in Australian cities – especially Sydney – are certainly expensive,” said Hockey. “But that certainly wouldn’t be a problem if all young people had a little more cash floating around to sort it out.”


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“Rent wouldn’t be much of a drama if everyone had an incredible amount of cash on hand to pay for it, right?”


Opposition Leader Bill Shorten responded to the Treasurer’s remarks today, condemning them as deeply elitist and out of touch with the way that the average Australian furnishes their living expenses.


“It is an outrage that Joe Hockey is not providing real solutions,” said Shorten. “It’s all well and good to say that all young Australians should actually be incredibly rich, but how are we going to get there?”


Hockey dismissed Shorten’s claims. “This Government is not about getting bogged down in schemes and highfalutin guesswork,” said Hockey. “We’re about real solutions to Australian problems. If that means assuming that young Australians have incredible amounts of money to resolve their problems, so be it.”





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