The Backburner

15 Jun 2015 - 11:10 AM  UPDATED 15 Jun 2015 - 11:10 AM

Sydney property prices are under scrutiny again as a piss-stained cardboard box abandoned in an alleyway in Paddington was sold at auction over the weekend for $590,000. It’s the third such box that has attracted a price this month and the most piss-soaked of the bunch.


The sale has reignited fury at housing affordability in Sydney with some young people believing that will never own their own garbage can and might not even be able to afford rent on the pits dug into swampland.


“Certainly I would have hoped to someday own my own piss-stained cardboard box,” said one young professional. “It just seems so impossible in these current conditions. I can’t envisage a future where one day I can look at a box stained with human urine lying in a street corner and smile to myself and think that it’s mine.


“It’s the great Australian dream and it’s slipping away from an entire generation’s grasp. I’m not just worried that I won’t be able to afford a piss-soaked box. I’m worried about my grandchildren unable to afford to form a makeshift tent out of discarded paper or to raise their family in a stormwater drain.


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“I just want to have the opportunity to put myself into crippling debt for a ludicrously expensive but ultimately worthless piece of property.”


Treasurer Joe Hockey has refuted claims that housing affordability is out of control, arguing that younger generations need to understand that property ownership is not a right.


“It’s time the youth of this nation learned to manage their expectations,” said Hockey. “You cannot expect to have the luxury of a piss-stained box without having to work for it. The people who currently own these luxurious cardboard dreams worked for decades to earn them.


“Were I lucky enough to own a piss-stained box I would be thrilled to know its worth is increasing. I gave the sweat from my brow you so could pay for my piss in a box. That’s the way the system works.”





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