The Backburner

23 Feb 2016 - 4:32 PM  UPDATED 23 Feb 2016 - 4:32 PM

Facing pressure from conservative backbenchers, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced an inquiry into the Safe Schools Coalition to determine whether LGBTI kids have it too good.


“This is a simple inquiry with a simple, non-partisan goal,” Turnbull announced via a written statement. “We intend to investigate claims that LGBTI kids simply have it far too good.”


“This is an investigation that requires a great deal of poise and bravery on the part of the Coalition.”


The investigation comes in the wake of Coalition MPs, including Senator Corey Bernardi, making allegations that LGBT kids in Australian schools are ‘living life in the easy lane’ and ‘taking it all a little bit too chill’.


“I applaud the Prime Minister’s backing this investigation,” Bernardi told a press conference. “How much longer are we to allow gay and trans children to have it so damn good?”


A spokesperson for the Safe Schools Coalition expressed concern about the political message of the inquiry and denied the comments raised by Bernardi.


“LGBT kids are at serious risk of bullying and exclusion, which can lead to depression, mental illness and other very negative outcomes,” said the spokesperson. “I’m not really sure what Turnbull and Bernardi are driving at here.”


Asked to respond to these comments, Turnbull was dismissive. “Sounds like a bloody walk in the park to this guy,” he said. “It’s time to get to the bottom of this and throw some taxpayer cash into determining exactly how and why gay kids are on easy street and the best way we can stop that arrangement.”


“We owe taxpayers that kind of transparency.”






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