The Backburner

8 Apr 2016 - 4:20 PM  UPDATED 8 Apr 2016 - 4:23 PM

In a truly noble act, noted libertarian Senator David Leyonhjelm has appeared in a new video puffing on an absolutely baller cigar, defending the rights of smokers who are too breathless themselves to speak out.


Leyonhjelm calls for people to vote for his Liberal Democrats, accusing the major parties of planning to increase the price of a pack of ciggies to upwards of $40, a move the Senator calls “only something a bunch of loser squares would do.


Smokers across the nation have showered Leyonhjelm with silent praise, offering up to him high fives and aggressive thumbs up for his defence of the 1 in 7 Aussies who remain committed to laughing in the face of lung cancer as they pop open another pack of Winnie Blues.


“Huffin’ ciggies just makes you look cool,” explains Leyonhjelm in the video, barely inhaling. “I’m a staunch libertarian, and I will stand up for every Australian’s right to smoke a pack of durries or three. Punching darts is mentioned no less than eight times in our Constitution, and I will not let the major parties deny these gasping, frequently coughing Australians their birthright.”


“And further to that, it’s flagrant discrimination against tradies on smoko, and will no doubt have a rippling effect on the Big M and servo meat pie industries. Vote Leyonhjelm.”





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