The Backburner

4 Jul 2016 - 3:51 PM  UPDATED 4 Jul 2016 - 4:15 PM

The Australian Electoral Commission have released a statement admitting that they have been forced to start the count again, after getting distracted by an interesting looking bird.


A spokesperson for the AEC told The Backburner that, despite getting very clearly close to finalising the vote count on Sunday evening, they briefly lost track of what they were doing when a bird flew into the room and completely forgot where they were up to.


“Although none of us are to blame for the presence of the bird, we will be the first to admit that keeping a strictly mental tally of the ten million odd votes and their respective preferences was a bit foolish and maybe emblematic of some hubris on our part.


“In future we will try and ensure a more bird-proof system is implemented than our current system of counting them by hand and then telling Dave what number we’re up to - it turns out the risk of Dave seeing a bird he did not anticipate and losing that number completely is too high to risk an entire federal election on it.”


The AEC anticipates that the recount should be done by the end of this week, depending on how reliable Dave continues to be at remembering the vote count.


“We’ve closed all the windows in the office so there’s no chance that bird will get in this time, which we believe should eliminate some of the risks, although Dave just got broken up with yesterday so his mind isn’t exactly on the job.


“We’re working to ensure that the final count is delivered as soon as possible, it is the solemn duty of the AEC to deliver the results within the very short time frame that the Australian public will remain interested in this.”


Some voters have expressed impatience at the lack of a result and vowed to remain interested in the election for at least another two days:

“It’s absolutely crucial that we know who will be deciding the outcome of the next 3 years of Australian politics, there is nothing more important and I will keep an incredibly keen eye on this until I inevitably get bored of it in a day or so.”




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