Bill Leak's latest cartoon. What? Comedian Rebecca Shaw attempts to decipher it.
Rebecca Shaw

13 Dec 2016 - 1:36 PM  UPDATED 13 Dec 2016 - 1:47 PM

Bill Leak has the very important job of drawing cartoons for The Australian. Recently his seemingly favourite subject to draw "funny" cartoons about has been the LGBTQI community, and in particular Safe Schools. For example, there are these amazing and hilarious examples.

Ha. Ha. Ha. See, do you get it? It is now bad for kids to be heterosexual. Good one.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Again, the brilliance is mind-blowing. Children are no longer being taught to read, because the Safe Schools program exists and is teaching them about gender diversity and tolerance. So right, and such a good target for a rich straight white adult man to tackle. Transgender children have had it too good, for too long. Thanks Mr Leak. 


These, even if the subject matter is questionable and the jokes not funny, are at least able to be understood. Leak's latest attack cartoon on the LGBTQI community however, is.....less so. Let's take a closer look.

Ah yes. Get it? Perfectly clear. You see everyone, there is a gay boat. I would say 'gay cruise' because that is much more funny and clever, but I highly doubt Bill Leak knows about cruising, considering the only depiction of gay men he seems to know is based entirely on the Gimp from Pulp Fiction


So yes, there's the homosexual boat. Which is a combination of pink and also rainbow colours. It seems like overkill, but Leak really REALLY wanted to make sure it was understood that this boat - it is for queers. I am actually only surprised the boat is not shaped like a dick, just to really really make sure his subtle point gets across. 


The gay boat, it is sinking. You might say it has sprung a Leak, but that joke is too obvious so I would never say it.


There is a man at the top of the sinking boat and we can presume he is gay because he is in a leather arseless chaps outfit, and the one time Bill Leak encountered a gay person was apparently when he got lost after being blindfolded and spun around in a piñata situation and stumbled out of his friend's backyard and into the streets of Sydney when Mardi Gras was on in 1987. 


The man is shouting through a bullhorn:

I must say is at the very least extremely polite. In an emergency life-and-death situation such as this, to still use 'please' and 'thank you'? That is admirable. Congrats to the arseless chaps man. 


He also seems to be dedicating himself to saving everyone else on the boat, instead of saving himself. This man may not have any pant material covering his bum cheeks, but what he does have is heart and bravery.


There are lifeboats filled with people rowing away from the sinking ship.

They all seem to be men. As do all of the people on the ship. 


I have employed all of the detective skills I have learned from watching Law & Order, and i've tried to get into the mind of a middle-aged heterosexual man who writes for The Australian and not only do I feel very rich and suddenly have the urge to buy three properties, I think what Bill is saying is that the ship is society, and that the LGTBQI people look out for themselves first, and put women and children last.


Or that society, by prioritising the needs of the LGBTQI community, such as with giving them equal rights and protecting them from bullying and what have you, is therefore putting women and children last and destroying society. 


Except, the last time I checked, I personally am a woman and ALSO I am gay. And once, I was a child. And i've never been on a cruise. So, I don't know.


Or maybe, LGBTQI people are the iceberg? Or are we Kate Winslet, pushing cis heterosexuals from the door? Is the boat a representation of the oppression Leak feels? What is a boat, where am I? There are so many questions. 


I have failed, I have no answers to this cartoon. It is a mystery, just like the mystery of why Bill Leak seems to honestly believe that the LBGTQI community has an agenda besides you know, not hating themselves or dying.


So no answers, but I do have one question: Who wants to go on a queer boat party cruise with me? All welcome. 



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