In tragic news Carrie Fisher, famous actress and all around awesome person has passed away. Comedian Kara Eva Schlegl remembers her life, her battles and the amazing quotes we have to remember her by.
Kara Eva Schlegl

28 Dec 2016 - 2:18 PM  UPDATED 28 Dec 2016 - 2:18 PM

One of our Galaxy’s greatest accomplishments, Carrie Fisher, has “drowned in moonlight”, strangled by her own bra. Or at least that’s how she told her friends she wanted her death reported, and frankly, she deserves no less.


A true force to behold, in her presence, wit and candour, Fisher was far more than a Princess. Yet she rarely admonished people for holding her to the legacy of her Star Wars’ persona, whom she described as following her throughout her life “like a vague smell”.


Of Princess/General Leia she said;

“I got to be the only girl in an all boy fantasy, and it’s a great role for women. She’s a very proactive character and gets the job done. So if you’re going to get typecast as something that might as well be it for me.”


Just as Leia was a great role model for women, Fisher too quickly became a wonderful beacon of hope for women everywhere, standing up against the patriarchal bullshit she encountered throughout her career. This is no better exemplified than in the last year, when internet f*ckbois were confronted with the stark realisation that no, women are not immortal bikini clad objects who solely exist for their masturbatory pleasure.

“Please stop debating about whether or not I aged well. Unfortunately it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn’t aged as well as I have. Blow us.”


And when men questioned her ability to be a good role model for their ‘daughters’ due to her bikini-clad performance, she had this to say;

“The father who flipped out about it, ‘What am I going to tell my kid about why she’s in that outfit?’ Tell them that a giant slug captured me and forced me to wear that stupid outfit, and then I killed him because I didn’t like it. And then I took it off. Backstage.”


After a lifetime of this moof-milker garbage, she gave little prestige to beauty or outward appearance, and called it out at every opportunity. In a recent interview on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, she was asked about losing weight for The Force Awakens;

“They want to hire part of me, not all of me. They want to hire three fourths, so I have to get rid of the fourth somehow. The fourth can’t be with me.”


And when he asked why Leia never got a light sabre, she told him;

“Even in Space, there is a double standard.”


She was constantly harassed by the press about her success - whether she felt successful and whether she thought Star Wars had been a hindrance to her success - to which she sagely retorted;

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap.”


But she was successful, staring in a number of acclaimed films, publishing several best-sellers, and owning a perfect dog named Gary Fisher;


She spent a good portion of her lifetime battling addiction and mental health problems, subsequently becoming a powerful advocate for mental health awareness, approaching the subject with tenderness, candour and hilarity. In her laugh-so-hard-you-cry one-woman play, Wishful Drinking, she writes;

“Oh! This’ll impress you - I’m actually in the Abnormal Psychology textbook. Obviously my family is so proud. Keep in mind though, I’m a PEZ dispenser and I’m in the abnormal Psychology textbook. Who says you can’t have it all?”


She even approached oncoming death with an enviable warmth and humour that we can only hope to embrace after her passing. From Wishful Drinking;

“You know what's funny about death? I mean other than absolutely nothing at all? You'd think we could remember finding out we weren't immortal. Sometimes I see children sobbing at airports and I think, 'Aww. They've just been told.’”


Carrie Fisher will forever be a palpable reminder that life, with all its blessings, can still pummel us, even when we are least deserving of it. But she worked hard to prove that life, the Empire, and the whole goddamn Universe can throw the worst at us, but with a strict ball-busting attitude and a formidable sense of humour, we can always fight back.





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