Property developer Tim Gurner thinks Millennials need to skip the coffees and smashed avo if they want to be successful, just like he was... also he inherited $34,000, but it was mainly the coffee skipping. Comedian Deirdre Fidge couldn't agree more.
Deirdre Fidge

15 May 2017 - 1:30 PM  UPDATED 15 May 2017 - 1:30 PM

My peers often look to me for advice. This doesn’t surprise me: I’m young, successful and more attractive than them. It would be rude of me not to share my wisdom with fellow millennials, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.


You see, I am not just successful at first glance (see above re: my youthful attractiveness); my bank account is testament to the fact that I have worked hard. There is truly no better indicator of a person’s character or drive than the amount of money they have… except of course, by assessing the amount of properties one owns. And boy howdy, do I own a lot of houses.


Some media outlets say our country is experiencing a housing affordability crisis, but my response to them is to simply pull a weird face and say “shmousing shmaffordability shmisis” in a hilarious voice.


My number one tip for people wanting to enter the property market? Well, that’s easy: inherit wealth.


Start Young


It’s never too young to start inheriting money. You don’t often think of teenagers as being the most savvy budgeters, but I was only 19 when I received $40,000 which goes to show how stereotypes about youthful spending are wildly inaccurate!


It was tempting to spend all the money on yo-yos and Slurpees like my idiot friends suggested, but I knew I should invest wisely if I wanted to be featured in smug articles like this in the future.


Keep It In The Family


I was fortunate enough to receive the aforementioned money from my Grandpa, but don’t get me wrong - I am aware that not everyone has a wealthy grandfather willing to gift them with a significant amount of cash. Some people have wealthy grandmothers.


Other folks have childless aunts who die young. Some people have generous godparents. Maybe your parents had a lucrative life insurance policy and die in a horrific emu attack which left you orphaned and alone. Cha-ching!


The bottom line is it doesn’t matter who bestows this enormous amount of cash to you. It’s what you do with it.


Business Investments


If I was a smarter child I would have inherited money earlier, but I didn’t waste time lamenting on past mistakes. I grabbed my bootstraps, pulled myself up and stomped all the way to a local business that was available to purchase.


The current owners were shocked when I strode in. They claim this was because I was still gripping my bootstraps, bent over like an alien creature and heavily sweating, but I know it was because they were awestruck by my youthful determination.


My journey was not without challenges. The business was listed as a “fixer-upper” which initially made me hesitant, and I became stressed. That 30-second interval before I remembered that I had thousands of dollars to make the necessary upgrades was the toughest moment of my life.


Rethink Your Lifestyle


It’s time for some tough love. Certain sacrifices must be made if you want to enter the property market and that includes lifestyle changes. This generation watches television shows like Neighbours and thinks that is reality, but it’s not. Owning a three-bedroom house is not normal. Driving a car made after 1995 is not normal. Karl Kennedy is not even a registered doctor.


Will you really need that $4 coffee when you learn it equates to 0.00266666% of a $150,000 home deposit? I am not a mathematician - just a humble millionaire - but it just might be the coffee holding you back.


Start Today


There is no time like the present to stop wasting money on takeaway drinks and start focusing on inheriting wealth. Ask yourself one question: what can you do today that will help you inherit money? If you’re lucky, the answer will be to do nothing at all.




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