The Backburner

19 May 2017 - 4:36 PM  UPDATED 19 May 2017 - 4:36 PM

A major fraud investigation implicating those at top levels of the Australian Taxation Office has the government agency concerned that this could harm their current high standing among the public conscience, who probably love them unconditionally and would hate to see that perfect love stained.


The ATO, usually considered to be an extremely generous and impeccable organisation, is reportedly worried that news of major fraud allegations among its high-ranking officers could jeopardise people’s love and adoration for the same office currently also embroiled in a debt collection scandal gone haywire.


The Backburner spoke to a senior PR officer at the ATO earlier today:


“It’s obviously not a great look for us, an organisation that has been universally praised and congratulated for its unflinching integrity so far. I just hope that the public will be able to forgive a once-in-a-lifetime hiccup like this, just like we’ve asked them to forgive all those other one-off hiccups.


“Actually, I’m hearing reports that we have never actually apologised for that time all our online systems went dark for over a week, or the ongoing mess of a robo-debt collection system we prematurely unleashed unto unsuspecting Centrelink customers.


“Still, I bet everyone has forgiven us for that seeing as they love us so much and you always forgive the ones you love. I just don’t want to be pushing our luck. People like us so much that when we let them down the hurt in their eyes just really gets to me.


“Oh well, I’m sure the people who stole millions of dollars through the tax system will get the justice they can afford and people will just go back to loving the ATO like they’ve always done.”



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