• Those goats, they climb everything. (River Cottage Australia)
A Definitive Ranking of Farmyard Animals (from worst to best).
By
Digger West

22 Sep 2017 - 12:12 PM  UPDATED 22 Sep 2017 - 12:12 PM

Hello, friends! It’s lovely to see you again. The year has flown by and suddenly my favourite season is here - spring! Spring is the best time of year for non-humans: bees come out to play, baby sheep are born, and magpies begin their terrifying descent on anyone who comes near their nest.

Thinking of my many springs at the farm led me to think about some of the animals I met. I’ve made a very important list for you today based on my many encounters with friendly – and not so friendly – animals.

A Definitive Ranking of Farmyard Animals (from worst to best)

Magpies

Don’t be fooled by their pretty singing… these birds are mean. Whenever Paul and I go for a stroll near a magpie nest, the mother always swoops at me while screaming. I don’t understand bird language but I think she’s defending her eggs. What would I want with tiny magpie eggs? They’re not even big enough for an omelette. Birds can be okay though - Paul played mum to a baby bird on the farm one year. I liked Little Pie. I do generally. Like pie, I mean. 

Sheep

These moving fluffy clouds are cute to look at but not very fun to hang out with. They must have a lot of anxiety because whenever I run around barking my invitation to play, they freak out and scamper away! It’s also very hard to tell them apart because they all look and behave exactly the same. I’ve never met a sheep with a really unique personality.

Goats

Goats are determined and stubborn. They are also sneaky – Paul spent a lot of time looking for our goats when they went missing one time. The baby goats made everyone make silly happy noises.  I don't understand that, but it's always good to see my humans happy. 

Pigs 

Did you know that pigs are really smart? I learned that after watching Babe, a documentary based on a farm just like ours. Unfortunately they spend a lot of time sleeping, which seems like a waste of a good brain. Every pig I’ve met has been very wise and very friendly but also very sleepy.

Chickens

I have a soft spot for chooks because after Paul, they were the first friends I had at River Cottage! Unlike magpies, they happily give us really big tasty eggs as presents and just like me, chickens love waking up early to start the day.

Cows

There’s no better animal than a cow in my expert opinion. Fun to relax with on a sunny day because they provide a lot of shade, and they give us tasty milk. Cows are just big dogs I reckon, and everyone knows dogs are the best.

Farm life
Honey and oat slice

This honey oat slice is a piece of cake (pardon the pun) to throw together.

Paul's steak and kidney pies

Bursting with chuck steak and kidney filling, this is a real pie.

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