• Who needs an invite to Harry and Meghan's knees-up when we can recreate it at home? (Getty Images)
Our invites may have been lost in the mail, but we can still attend the royal wedding by recreating the entire party at home.
Bron Maxabella

17 May 2018 - 12:52 PM  UPDATED 17 May 2018 - 12:58 PM

They might be protocol-bound for the wedding and official reception, but Prince Harry and his glam bride-to-be Meghan Markle are naturally planning an uber-stylish, bang on-trend after-party. From food trucks to apache shooters, this couple knows how to throw a wild knees-up.

Of course, it’s a bit hard to get excited for them as none of us are invited.

Which is why we need our own royal wedding party, stat. From the dishes being served at the official wedding breakfast, to the cocktails running though the ice luge at the after-party, we’ve got you covered. Here’s how to celebrate Meghan and Harry’s royal wedding like you’re invited.

Cheers to the happy couple

Harry has allegedly requested a tiki-themed bar at what the Mirror reports is a “safaris and festival fever” themed after-party. This is in honour of his favourite London nightclub, Mahiki. Mahiki bills itself (along with every other bar that ever opened its doors) as the “ultimate party destination”. Along with their famous open-door policy, there’s a karaoke room, a rum workshop and a tropical jungle. On the cocktail list at Mahiki are the Zombie, Jolly Roger and a Coconut Grenade. The Coconut Grenade is presumably related to the “apache shooters” that the Mirror says the couple will be drinking at the party. No idea how to make any of those enticing combos, so let’s substitute our own tropical-inspired bevvies:

Hawaiian martini

This cocktail is adapted from Roys restaurant on Waikiki beach in Honolulu. I had the pleasure of spending a 'bit' of time at their bar on a work trip when I worked with Tetsuya. It is a very simple cocktail, with not many ingredients. It’s incredibly refreshing, easy to drink – and lethal. At the restaurant, we make this in bulk, in a ratio of 4 bottles of vodka to 1 bottle Malibu. I’ve scaled down this version for you to make at home. You can add more Malibu if you wish, but be careful not to add too much or it’ll taste like sunscreen. Mahalo!

Watermelon and basil salt margarita

Make the most of juicy, ripe watermelons in this margarita with a twist. The basil salt rims add a earthy note, balancing the sweetness of the watermelon. It's endless summer in a tumbler.

Pina Colada

The official beverage of Puerto Rico since 1978, it is claimed that this cocktail originated in the 1800s, when the legendary Puerto Rican pirate Roberto Cofresi gave a mixture of coconut juice, pineapple and white rum to his crew. Give this pina colada recipe a go at your next party.

Prince Harry and Meghan are also having an ice luge filled with vodka, but given that none of us ever has an inch of freezer space to spare, let’s just skip the whole ice luge thing and simply drink the vodka.

Just getting started

Food and Wine reports that prior to the after-party, the couple will have dined with the Queen at the official wedding breakfast on dishes featuring asparagus, potatoes and tomatoes. We’ve taken the liberty of curating a menu based on these ingredients that we are sure will delight the newlyweds:

Crisp tofu cooked in tomato-pepper sauce (dau hu sot ca)

Asparagus, polenta and feta pie (kourkouto)

Rich, cheesy and textured with polenta, this Greek-style quiche is gluten free and delicious served hot or cold, which makes it perfect for picnics or lunch boxes the next day. It's an easy recipe that is sure to become a favourite in your home.

Gujarati potatoes

For potato lovers who like a hint of spice, this Indian recipe is the best thing in the world. The snap, crackle and pop as you fry the spices is part of the joy.

Dessert loving

The kitchen at Kensington Palace has released details of the dessert being served and you’ll be pleased to hear that crème brulee, mango pannacotta and macaroons are on the menu.  These will be served before the traditional chocolate truffles are brought out – presumably the same boring old chocolate truffles they’ve been serving since forever. We are pretty sure Harry and Meghan would prefer a version spiced with it flavour chai.

Peppermint crème brûlée (crème brûlée à la menthe)

Stage 4 – Seraing/Cambrai: The north of France produces sugar from sugarbeets, so I thought it would be fitting to make a sweet dessert. And what better than a classic crème brûlée! I have added a little peppermint to the custard as this is also a popular local flavour. Make sure you use peppermint syrup and not peppermint essence. I use the Monin brand but you could also use a mint liqueur such as Crème de Menthe.

Caramel mango and banana tart (tarte caramélisée aux mangues et bananes)

The West African republic of Guinea’s food culture has been heavily influenced by its colonial past, and this dark, caramelised fruit tart – flavoured with rum and vanilla, and cousin to that French classic, tarte Tatin – is its embodiment.

Moroccan macaroons (coconut ghriba)

Dancing and feasting

Enough of the formalities, let’s get back to our after-party preparations. To get into the mood, we’ll need to dig deep and dust off our old Spice Girls cassette tape. The quintet are rumoured to be performing alongside Coldplay and Ed Sheeran. For their first dance, The Sun reports that Harry and Meghan have allegedly chosen Whitney Houston’s 80s hit “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)”. Which feels a little random for a couple's big moment, don't you think? More likely to actually happen is the steel band Harry has arranged to play as guests enter the party.

Of course, more food will be on offer, this time catered by Harry's friend Minnie Brown’s catering company Feast It.

Feast It bring “street food traders and pop-up bars” to events all over the UK. This is our kind of caterer – the food on offer ranges from Modern Ghanian (Zoe’s Ghana Kitchen) to Iraqi (JUMA Kitchen) to tacos (Tacos Del Ray). Sorted!

Chipotle black bean tacos with jalapeño slaw

"I had a fairly standard taco game as a kid – meat, cheese, lettuce and tomato in a store-bought shell. I was wary of making any changes to my long-serving combo... I mean, why mess with perfection, right? Well, becoming vegetarian and finally eating authentic Mexican food certainly bumped me right out of rookie taco zone and straight into the world of piquant, fresh vegie creations. I'd put just about anything on a taco these days, and am often found doing just that. Welcome to taco-time!" Stacey Roberts, The Veggie Mama

Jollof rice with fish

Jollof rice is a staple across much of West Africa, with each country possessing its own interpretation. No matter which brand of jollof you come across, the main ingredient will always be rice. Other ingredients, such as fish, beef, pork, chicken, plantain, help to differentiate and dress up the dish. Like many African recipes, jollof rice can be served at all occasions – toned down for weeknight meal or adorned with seafood for a more lavish affair.

Kibbeh with burghul

Kibbeh is very popular among Middle Eastern countries, particularly in Iraq where it has many variations. This recipe is a deep-fried version could be likened to dumplings or meatballs. You begin with a simple burghul (cracked wheat) dough and use this to encase a more-ish spiced meat filling. Serve with yoghurt or hummus.

Winding it up before we explode

In a cute, “we’re really just like you, no, really” touch, the royal couple has arranged for an ice cream truck to make an appearance in the wee small hours. Frankly, by 2am we’ll be ready for bed (thank god it’s Sunday tomorrow), but if you fancy an ice-cold hit at 2 am, try this:

Turkish delight ice cream timbals

Prince Charles is said to be picking up the tab for this full day of feasting. Sadly, that won’t be happening at our place, where the only richness on offer will be the flavours we’ve feasted on from all over the world. But, gosh, that was a bloody good wedding, wasn’t it?

Watch the Royal Wedding live on SBS from 7.30pm Saturday, May 19 and on SBS On Demand. 

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