Jon Snow on Game of Thrones, Glenn Rhee on The Walking Dead, Kevin Garvey on The Leftovers… what is this, Days of Our Lives?
By
Nick Bhasin

25 Nov 2015 - 11:22 AM  UPDATED 1 Dec 2015 - 4:11 PM

 

Dead. Alive. Dead. Alive. Why do we keep bringing characters back to life? Pick one and stick with it, TV shows!

Excuse me? No, I won’t relax!

Here’s why:

 

I've developed an emotional connection to these characters and you’re killing ME with all this dying and then not dying.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve got a lot going on in my personal and professional life and I just can’t deal with this right now. When Jon Snow got stabbed a bunch of times, it was hard to take, but I accepted it and let the healing begin.

But if Jon Snow is alive – and, by the looks of the tweet below, he is – then all the important work I’ve done adjusting to my new reality has been wasted. I’m thrust back into the pain of uncertainty. And I just can’t afford to be yanked around like that. Not now.

 

Life is black or white, dead or not dead, veg or non-veg. End of story.

You’re either dead or you aren’t. I know there are zombies and vampires that seem to ride the fence on this one, but these are human beings we’re talking about. Human beings don’t have powers. Okay, maybe professional athletes do. And some pop singers. But that’s it.

So stop trying to bait me with how Kevin Garvey (Justin Theroux) might be alive even though he sucked down a bunch of poison.

And stop telling me you feel bad because you had to keep the fate of Glenn Rhee (Steven Yeun) a secret from family and friends even though anyone with eyes could see that it wasn’t his intestines being yanked out.

And definitely stop having the REAL Jon Snow walk around on a set as if everything’s cool.

(Just kidding. I know Jon Snow isn’t real and is played by an actor. But the way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised if the GoT producers have Kit Harrington fake his own death at some point! Just kidding. I would be surprised. And impressed.)

 

Teasing "is he or isn't he dead" reminds me of being teased in school for having large ears.

I’ve got big ears. I just do. And it didn’t win me any friends as a child. I was teased quite a bit (I was also teased because of my portly shape and my ethnic background, but that’s a different post). So all this death teasery quite naturally reminds me of those tumultuous years as a boy just trying to find his way in the world.

Why didn’t the producers of these shows anticipate this?

 

These producers are playing God. There. I said it.

If you shove a character into the vast gateway to the unknown, then yank him back, you're doing God's job. And that is going to make Him angry. And if he’s watching The Walking Dead, I’m pretty sure He’s already plenty angry having gone through the 35th cliff-hanger involving - gasp! - zombies entering the once safe compound.

At this point, God’s like, “Rick, give it a rest with all the speeches! We get it. You’re the boss. Everyone needs to listen to Rick. Hey, you were in Love Actually. Get over yourself.”

Amen.