• This could be you, if you follow our instructions very carefully. (AAP)Source: AAP
Everything's going to be all right. You're safe now.
By
Jeremy Cassar

22 Jan 2016 - 3:02 PM  UPDATED 22 Jan 2016 - 3:09 PM

Disclaimer: We at The Guide officially do not endorse the use of VPNs, geoblockers, betablockers or any other kind of blocker. We completely and unquestioningly respect the laws handed down by the digital gods and encourage all of you to submit yourselves to their power.

Last week’s news — that Netflix would be implementing a geoblocking block to all sneaky subscribers— has become a reality

Here's proof:

Men and women relying on “Netflix and Chill?” as their primary courting mechanism now need new material. And the rest of us geographical rovers have been told to lie down and take it (if "it" was arguably unfairly restricted content).

Well, no more.

No. More.

Forget any legitimate beefs from rights-holders, click past those Terms & Conditions and in the name of net-neutrality, take the following preventative steps:

 

Change the range of your IP address (whatever that means)

Within a microsecond of Netflix’s threat, SBS asked Doctor Ramon Lobato from Swinbourne University of Technology just how effective these crackdowns might be...

“Netflix’s likely response will be to block certain IP addresses, targeting those frequently used by VPNs and proxies,” Lobato said. “It doesn’t stop geo-dodging completely, because VPN and proxy providers can respond by changing their IP address ranges. Essentially, this will be another game of whack-a-mole, where the aim is deterrence rather than total crack-down."

Obviously not the fun type of whack-a-mole.

 

Have faith in quick-moving VPN providers

They'll know what to do!

But until then…

 

Head to the US embassy with a tin of baked goods

While Netflix’s IP-based measures will apply to those on any inch of Australian soil, the US embassy is sure to keep you safe from the villainous geo-cops. In fact, if the embassy staff likes the look of your baked goods, you could stand just inside the embassy fence, whack on Die Hard: With a Vengeance, and taunt anyone on the other side.

 

Fly vertically into unclaimed airspace in a WiFi enabled aircraft

Quit your job. Enrol in a Bachelor of Aviation. Attend flight school and pass all relevant tests. Create Kickstarter campaign to fund plane purchase. Wait for donations. Cash donations. Buy Plane. Fly cloudward. Place plane on auto-pilot. Turn on WiFi. Wait for WiFi to connect. Grab a static ISP. Watch US Netflix.

Now, repeat that back to me.

 

Make a new Netflix out of cardboard and dreams

Remember the days when you could sit in an old cardboard box and with the help of your imagination, pop over to Saturn for some (onion) rings? With this method of geoblock blocking, you can not only maintain your relationship with US Netflix but form new bonds with its French, Danish, and Ecuadorian counterparts.

You can even watch stuff from the future! It's totally up to you.

 

If all above measures fail, just stare at this photo of Gary Busey

Did it work? Do you have US Netflix? Let us know in the comments.