1. There’s plenty of sex, with women preferring to be on top. And unless we’re much mistaken, they’re all riding bareback.
2. After a sexy tumble, Kalf tells Lagertha that if she’s not too old, she might be able to bear his children.
3. Learning Ragnar’s boy is out on his own, Kalf and Erlendur hire a giant, hairy berserker to hunt down Bjorn. Incidentally, did you know the word “berserker” comes from them wearing a kind of shirt or coat (serkr) made from the pelt of a bear (ber-)?
4. To ease a grizzly-looking Floki’s pain, wife Helga bears his burden as much as possible by catching water in a bowl.
5. Ice-adventurer Bjorn checks all the traps he set for game, but they’re empty. Seems something stole his pick-a-nick baskets...
6. A frustrated Rollo leaps onto the feasting table after being publically dissed and dismissed by his missus, and roars like some kind of... brown-furred... beast. Later he demands to learn the Frankish language, but loses his temper before picking up even the bare essentials.
7. Back at his hunting cabin, Bjorn discovers a keg of mead – a liquor made from fermented honey.
8. Jealous Ragnar tells his kids a story clearly designed to let Aslaug know he knows about her extra-curricular sexification with Harbard. In this story, a mysterious ferryman bears Thor across a lake.
9. Ragnar gets his first proper look at Chinese slave Yidu, giving her a once-over before deciding they’re polar opposites.
10. Bjorn fights and kills a bear. No idea how that fits into anything.
11. In a true Kodiak moment, Judith bares all with King Ecbert, as long as he promises to swear on Athelstan that he’ll treat her as a respected equal.
12. Athelstan appears in a vision to King Ecbert and Ragnar, like some kind of revenant. He tells Ecbert that he’s welcome to Judith’s bare bum, and after washing Ragnar’s bare feet, he tells him to forgive Floki – that’s his cross to bear.
13. Floki thinks his suffering is at an end when Ragnar finally cuts him down, but the news his daughter is dead makes things even more unbearable.
14. Bjorn goes from bearskin to bare skin before leaping into the ice water. He re-emerges... a man.
The new series of Vikings continues Wednesdays at 9:30pm (AEDT) on SBS. Every episode will be on SBS On Demand after it airs.
Here's episode 3, Mercy, in case you missed it: