Clutch the pearls...
By
Jenna Martin

28 Jun 2016 - 9:10 PM  UPDATED 28 Jun 2016 - 9:40 PM

Versailles (episodes 1 and 2 now available on SBS On Demand) made a big stir in the UK when it debuted, angering the good folks over at the Daily Mail and bothering conservatives for its, ahem, graphic depiction of the rampant bed-hopping going on at the French court under the Sun King, Louis XIV. And yes, there’s a lot of sex- of every persuasion - but is it really the steamiest series ever broadcast on TV?

Here's the competition...

 

Outlander 

This time travelling Scottish melodrama has been praised as “the most sensual sex on TV” and that’s probably right. Sure, you’ve got your standard period drama aphrodisiacs- ripped corsets and hulking, muscular men on horseback - but when it comes to the sex there’s one clear distinction: it’s almost entirely female driven. 

Our heroine gets her bosom out (often) but usually because she’s the one who’s hot to trot… even suggesting her feller go down on her in an abandoned Scottish castle. The trailer doesn’t hint at the hot & heavy times ahead but trust me, if you want to watch attractive people have steamy sex, this show should be top of your list.   

 

Game of Thrones 

Steamy or gratuitous… the jury is still out but that doesn’t stop people tuning in for their weekly helping of blood, dragons and boobs.  

 

Transparent 

Transparent is a beautiful, rare bird amongst a flock of grubby, horny pigeons in that it so frequently shows sex how it really is: messy, raw and sometimes a bit weird. Whether it’s a frantic, illicit fumble in the back of a car by two (otherwise married) women, a desperate grope under the bath bubbles for a couple who divorced years ago, or the energetic, dusk-til-dawn romp of two people who have finally given into their desire, Transparent isn’t afraid to be real, which is sometimes the sexiest thing of all.  

 

 

The Affair 

Some would say there’s nothing sexier than what is forbidden… well, this series takes that idea and runs with it, exploring the lead up - and subsequent fall out - of an affair between two married people over a hot Long Island summer. Cue sex on the beach, necking in the shower and head banging in hotel rooms. (Lots of head banging in hotel rooms) 

 

Californication

The implication is there in the title… This was the series that turned little Gracie from The Nanny into a topless she-devil and sent star David Duchovny from Fox Mulder’s basement straight to rehab for sex addiction. Enough said.  

 

Mad Men 

The brilliance of Mad Men’s timeline meant that you got to see attitudes to sex - and especially female sexuality - change over time. Sure, a lot of the focus was on Don Draper and his feverish sexual appetite, but the women weren’t left out; learning how sex wasn’t just something to lie back and endure, but that it could be hugely fun, and more than that; it could be a weapon and a bargaining tool.  

 

 

True Blood 

When True Blood started there wasn’t much like it on TV- you sure as hell weren’t going to see blood sucking vampires enjoying an energetic threesome with a werewolf and a faerie anywhere else. 

Rarely an episode went by without some sort of boundary-pushing sex scene and occasionally humans got in on the action too, making the whole thing one of the sweatiest, sexiest shows ever.  

 

Masters of Sex  

Science isn’t particularly sexy. The science of sex however, is a different story. Especially if it involves lots of thrusting, pounding and heavy breathing whilst hooked up to a bunch of machines! No, but seriously: the beauty - and true sexiness - of the show is in watching Masters and his assistant Virginia resist falling in lust - and love - while screwing each others’ brains out all in the name of research.  

 

Heartless

This Danish series in the True Blood/Twilight style follows two cursed teens who literally cannot survive without locking lips with another person because it allows them to “suck the energy” out of them and use it for themselves. This genius concept pretty much assures lots of naked, thrusting sexy-time. Hey, survival of the fittest, right?   

Watch episode 1 on SBS On Demand:

 

Maison Close  

The French aren’t exactly known for being buttoned up when it comes to sex and Maison Close doesn’t disappoint. A drama about the inner-workings of a high-class Parisian brothel in the late 1800’s, there’s sex a plenty, very few clothes, girl-on-girl action… and even an orgy that arises after someone jumps naked out of a birthday cake. Even the trailer is enough to get you hot and bothered… 

Watch episode 1 on SBS On Demand:

 

Episode 1 and 2 of Versailles are available on SBS on Demand. The full series airs in August. 

Watch episode 1 right here:

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