Crimes of Passion is basically the Agatha Christie of Scandi noir: Gone are the tortured-but-brilliant modern-day detectives hunting down villains across a frozen Nordic tundra. In their place? Perfectly coiffed, pretty young things sipping cocktails and solving crimes amidst endless 1950s Swedish summers, keeping up appearances in public whilst behaving very badly behind closed doors.
There are six films in the series - all available on SBS On Demand - following the exploits of literature student Puck Ekstedt and her boyfriend Einar, who have an uncanny knack for landing themselves smack bang in the middle of gruesome crime scenes. When they do, there’s only one person to help them solve it - their friend, handsome playboy policeman Christer Wijk, the chief of the national homicide investigation team.
But let’s cut to the chase: This is a period show so it’s a little bit about the mystery and a LOT about the outfits. Whether it’s Puck and her penchant for capri pants or this lady and her fabulous turban...
... there are no PI’s more on trend than those in Crimes of Passion. Let’s meet the glamorous gumshoes themselves:
Argyle 'n' polka dots
Our two ridiculously attractive heroes: Audrey Hepburn-esque super sleuth Puck and her dashing hunk of man candy, Einar. The argyle sweater vest says “stability” whilst the flirty polka dots scream “Carefree! Fun! Fabulous!” A match made in pattern heaven.
Suit in poo-brown
I love a man who can work a poo-brown suit and handsome policeman Christer Wijk is owning it. The hat adds a dash of elegance, the pose says “Yes, I know I look like Don Draper” and the pipe? The pipe says “lean in and tell me all your dirty secrets”. 10/10.
Every murder mystery needs its token blonde bombshell and Crimes of Passion doesn’t disappoint. Blue vs red… Turban vs floppy hat… fabulous robe vs slinky sarong… When it comes to resort casual it’s less about the speedo and more about the sass: and blue bikini babe has NAILED IT. One word: Attitude.
Too much fierce mustardness
There’s a recurring theme in this series of what I like to call “Maria Von Trapp Curtain Fabric Chic”. The mustard really pops - it’s fierce - but the necklace is just a bit matchy-matchy and the cardi? Total drab. Green Blondie is effortless, sexy and cool. In a battle between Mustard Blondie and Green Blondie? Green Blondie FTW.
Old lady chic
OMG: HOLD THE PHONES. This is Old Lady Chic at its most elegant and snooty. Headwear, pearls, attitude. These broads are KILLING it. I doubt Helen Mirren could wear it better.
Say what you want about Christer’s fiancée Gabriella ('cos frankly she’s a nasty piece of work) but the woman knows how to accessorise her frock with her musket. Love it, love it, love it.
Muscly, towel-draped adonis fresh from the sea: check.
Hunky handyman in overalls: check.
Tall, dark and handsome (with beer): check.
Crimes of Passion does menswear in all its wondrous flavours.
Friends don't let friends wear shirts like that
Young student Marianne is so chic with the red scarf/belt combo. I’m IN LOVE with the flirty florals and the hint of fringe: fabulous! Blondie friend? Not so much. What bowling alley did she steal that ill-fitting shirt from? FASHION FAIL.
The shoes make the corpse
You can’t have a murder without a body so let’s take a moment to pay our respects to the dearly departed. One thing’s clear, with his tailored slacks and impeccably polished brogues, this dude will be hanged before he becomes a fashion victim!
Crimes of Passion is available on SBS On Demand. Watch the first movie right here: