Would a world-class surgeon please remove Trump’s tiny, tiny foot from his big thin-lipped mouth?
By
Jeremy Cassar

4 Oct 2016 - 4:18 PM  UPDATED 6 Oct 2016 - 11:07 AM

During last week’s Presidential debate, Hillary Clinton told us something we already knew — that Donald J. Trump is and has always been a sexist twat.

The democratic candidate reminded millions of viewers that The Donald once referred to former Miss Universe Alicia Machado as ‘Miss Piggy’, and stood by the jibe.

While we appreciate Hillary’s effort, we’ve had an entire decade of The Apprentice to get a load of the real Donald in all his gleeful sexism.

It was a more innocent time. Last year, in fact. Way back when we were less concerned with Donald hovering tiny fingers over the big red ‘Start Nuclear War’ button, and more with whether to fire Gary Busey for driving Meatloaf to the brink of insanity.

This week, news broke that the human hairpiece’s behind-the-scenes behaviour on The Apprentice was several thousand rungs below presidential, but we saw enough of this while the cameras were running.

Here are five of The Donald’s most deplorable acts of The Apprentice sexism.

Déjà vu: Former contestants speak out in 2010

Amongst others, former assistant district attorney Mahsa Saeidi-Azcuy of The Apprentice season ten gave a concerning insight into what really happens in Donald’s on-set boardroom.The highly motivated contestant wasn’t going to let sleeping douchebags lie, revealing that the boardroom is where Donald forces attention onto the young, attractive contestants and all but ignores those he deems unfit for ogling. To make matters worse, he’s known to go across the room and ask each male contestant who they think was the most attractive female on the show. In their presence. While the camera’s are running.

One can only imagine the resulting product if Donald edited these episodes.

Get up and show what you’ve got, young female.

Veteran of the Air Force, Gene Folkes, spoke of an on-screen moment that is so cringe-worthy my fingers are begging to rebel.

Ever-living in the 1950’s, Donald not only asked Folkes for his detailed opinion on the ‘hotness’ of the female contestants, but in everyone’s presence, asked a particular female whether her breasts were real or not, and another to show more cleavage.

But the pièce de résistance was when Donald made a young female contestant stand before the cast and crew, and twirl around like a living mannequin. In a fricking boardroom.

Every woman flirts with The Donald

Men of Australia, remember during primary school when you thought any time a girl talked to you that she wanted to hold hands behind the tennis courts at recess and possibly forever and ever?

That’s basically the sentiment Donald Trump put forth in 2004 when he revealed to the Daily News about the dynamic between he and his female contestants:

"All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected”.

We’re guessing, considering the next entry, that includes his daughter.

Under the right circumstances, Donald would date his daughter

As committed as she seems to her father, Ivanka comes across as the least Trumpian individual in the family tree. But it seems Donald needs the odd reminder that she’s still in his family tree.

In 2006, Trump sat down to an The Apprentice­-related interview and fondly complimented his daughter with the claim:

“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d date her.”

This was later passed off as a joke, but chances are this comment didn’t just occur to Trump in the moment, and he’s actually entertained the thought before. Either way, incest is so unrelentingly hilarious (to Donald, and only Donald).

Donald imagines a female contestant on her knees

Hilariously, in a boardroom across from notorious womaniser Bret Michaels, Donald makes the former Poison rebel look like perfect human man Paul Rudd.

Trump decides to take a seemingly serious discussion about a problematic challenge held FOR CHARITY, where Michaels reveals that while in the safety of her team, Brande Roderick had knelt down and begged not to be fired.

Instead of Trump rewarding her drive, or laughing at how much the contestant is digging being on the show, he interrupted with the following sleazy comment:

“Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.”

Depressingly, the above listicle could easily lengthen to an omnibus, but it’s the first day of the work week and we wouldn’t do that to you.

So in the meantime, all hail the man who has a 50% chance of running a superpower. Sigh.

 

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