A reminder of what had us laughing and squirming in our seats in the first series of the show.
By
Sarah Ward

15 May 2017 - 4:12 PM  UPDATED 16 Jun 2017 - 9:43 AM

No topic is off limits to the Laws. If the first series of The Family Law taught viewers anything — and it taught us many things — it’s that honest, open communication is essential to life in their bustling household, regardless of how embarrassing it might be. This is the family that, in season two, will celebrate the year of the cock in a way never before seen on Australian television.

They say time heals all wounds. It's been a year since the last season, so it's time for a refresher on the most cringe-worthy moments on the show so far.

“No ring, no ding ding.”

When Jenny sends her eldest daughter Candy (Shuang Hu) off to schoolies, she has one piece of advice: “no ring, no ding ding”. That’s how you tackle the topic of teenage sex when you’re a Law. It’s a brief, matter-of-fact discussion that has Candy squirming, but approaches an important issue directly and honestly. Every high-schooler would cringe in the same situation, but they’d appreciate the concern.

 

“Can you imagine squeezing a lemon out of your penis hole?”

When you’re a kid, there’s nothing more awkward than acknowledging that your parents have sex. At the age of 14, you’re aware that it’s probably a thing that happens — but you don’t want to talk about it or have it broadcast in public. Jenny Law (Fiona Choi) isn't concerned about her children’s shame, loudly telling the family during Ben's 14th birthday meal why everyone should be thanking her for the pain she endured in bringing him and his siblings into the world. The description of her pain got graphic.

 

“It’s like poaching eggs in the washing machine.”

If there’s one thing that everyone knows about teenage boys, it’s that they like their time to themselves. Their hormones are pumping, their urges are surging, and they’re prone to doing what comes naturally. As the mother of 18-year-old Andrew (George Zhao), Jenny knows this and she’s not shy when it comes to talking about it. Indeed, her conversation with Ben about Andrew’s “dirty sperm sheets” just might be one of the most honest and brutally funny ways that masturbation has been broached on TV.

 

Jenny Law opening Candy’s Christmas present from Wayne

It doesn’t take long for The Family Law to establish that boundaries don’t exist in their home, particularly when it comes to talking about sex. After finding out that Candy has a secret boyfriend, Wayne (Sam Cotton), and cautioning her to be careful — “Asian vaginas are smaller. Fun for them, pain for you!” she warns. The second episode ends with a nod to getting intimate in a different way. Jenny comes across Wayne’s Christmas present to Candy, which she wrongly assumes is for her from her estranged husband Danny (Anthony Brandon Wong). The look on Candy’s face when she sees her mother handling a sex toy says what everyone watching is thinking.

 

"Australians love racism"

Relaying a tale of an Asian-Australian family’s lives, it’s impossible to ignore the ugly side of living in a multicultural country, with racism still present in our society. In season two, when Ben starts handing out fortune cookies as part of his campaign to get elected as middle school captain, it’s not the first time that race rears its head; however, it might be the most forthright and amusing way to address a difficult subject. The fact that Jenny declares that “Australians love racism” is telling. Discovering her way of both combating prejudice and using it to Ben’s advantage is one of the highlights of the first episode.

The Family Law airs on SBS every Thursday night at 8:30pm. New episodes and the entire first season are streaming now via SBS On Demand:

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