It’s safe to say if you haven’t caught an episode of If You Are the One then you haven’t really lived. The Chinese dating show, where lonely men try to land the lady of their dreams, regularly pulls in an audience of more than 50 million viewers and has a cult following here in Australia as well.
Much of this phenomenon boils down to one man, Meng Fei. A mix of your favourite uncle and Osher Günsberg, Fei is the show's brilliantly blunt host, always on hand to offer hilarious advice to the hapless suitors.
To celebrate his role as our romance guru/roast master, we’re sharing some of his most poignant (and cutting) love lessons.
LESSON: Dates before mates
Have you been stupidly spending time with your close friends instead of obsessively pursuing a relationship? How dare you!
LESSON: You can’t make everybody happy
People pleasers are guaranteed to get their hearts broken and Fei knows this better than anyone. If you’re putting yourself out there and getting nothing in return, it’s time to cut and run.
LESSON: Good things come to those who date
This is arguably a more niche love lesson, but it’s still a good one to remember. You’re far more likely to win custom-made shoes if you’re in a relationship.
LESSON: Books are bad
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Stop wasting time broadening your horizons with all those words and start dating! You can’t marry a book. Case closed.
LESSON: Don’t be a bad book
It’s pretty clear Fei has something against books. What we think he’s trying to say here is that you shouldn’t be bad. Or a book. Who really knows anymore?
LESSON: Learn to compromise
It’s no secret that solid relationships require a bit of give and take from both sides. A timely reminder that true love is pretending to enjoy kimchi.
LESSON: Don’t get complacent
The moment you stop striving, you start dying! In fact, that sounds a lot like something Fei might say.
LESSON: Wait for someone worth your love
It’s Fei's way with words that makes him so relatable.
LESSON: It’s important to be slim
Look, even someone as well qualified as Meng Fei slips up occasionally. He may always have the best intentions but that doesn’t mean he’s always right.
LESSON: Give everyone a chance
Presumably, this refers to everyone except people who read books. But still, Fei hits the nail on the head here.
Watch If You Are The One: Boys on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday at 5:35pm, and Sunday at 7.20pm on SBS Viceland. If you missed any episodes you can catch up at SBS On Demand.