Beloved by all but the fussiest of eaters and those with potentially lethal allergies to bread, pizza is a meal that brings people together. The Pizza Show celebrates the beloved dish as host Frank Pinella travels the US, giving an insight and history into the most crowdpleasing food of all time.
But what does a person’s choice of pizza truly say about them? Some might argue it says they enjoy eating that specific kind of pizza and that dissecting this further would be foolish. For those willing to ignore such annoyingly accurate logic, here is what your favourite pizza really indicates.
A reliable and tasty classic, the Hawaiian represents a choice that offers a low risk of tasting bad but also a low risk of being spectacular. If this is your pizza of choice, you are most likely a dependable person who does not enjoy surprises, possessing a keen awareness that if you order something new or different, there is always a chance it might be bad. And while the debate about whether pineapple belongs on a pizza rages on, the Hawaiian remains a solid choice for those who like to be in control.
If supreme is your preference, you are a person who takes charge, possessing the courage to commit to the first idea that comes to mind regardless of the circumstances. In the case of ordering pizzas to share, this ability can be a true blessing, as waiting for people to agree on toppings can be infuriating. Fortunately, your heroic confidence and ability to make snap decisions ensure this is no longer an issue as everyone is left equally unhappy in as quick a time as possible.
You are a rock solid person always prepared to stand by your beliefs, confirmed by the fact that science’s continued warnings about the dangers of eating processed meats haven’t destroyed your willingness to risk permanent damage for some sweet, sweet mystery sausage.
As above, but you find a slightly greater sense of hopelessness starting to creep into daily life.
The world presents infinite possibilities and opportunities for discovery, but a life full of fun and excitement is not for everyone. A plain cheese pizza suggests you are a person who is content with what they have and does not need a life full of bells, whistles and joy. Respect to you, friend.
A fancy pizza from a fancy pizza place
You are a person of discerning taste who is not afraid to spend $30 on something that potentially consists of $2 worth of ingredients. Admittedly, they can be pretty great pizzas, but when the decision comes down to buying one delicious pizza or seven pretty terrible ones, many of us will find ourselves opting for value at the risk of inferior taste and potential future ill health.
You are quite possibly the annoying jerk who eats two pieces of your own pizza, then wants some of everyone else’s after realising how bland a Margherita usually is, thereby forcing it on people who never wanted it in the first place. (Either that or you just really like Margherita pizza, but that seems unlikely.)
A pizza with hotdogs in the crust
You are a person who is happy to spit in the face of every Italian pizza master who has ever put love and care into their art-form. May God have mercy on your soul.
Regardless of your specific taste, your choice to eat pizza at all says you are a person who has figured out that bread with tasty stuff on top is going to be a delicious treat. Cheap, totally customisable and generally still pretty good even if it’s bad, pizza is the true definition of super food, with The Pizza Show serving as a reminder that if your social circle thinks otherwise, it is time to get new and better friends.
Watch The Pizza Show on Tuesdays at 8:30pm on SBS VICELAND. You can also catch up on previous episodes of the show at SBS On Demand: