• Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta and Melissa Fumero as Amy Santiago in 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'. (Getty)Source: Getty
The 99’s favourite couple is tying the knot — and there will be 'Die Hard' cake.
Sarah Ward

16 Nov 2017 - 2:17 PM  UPDATED 16 Nov 2017 - 2:17 PM

It has been a long and amusing road for detectives Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) and Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero). Indeed, since Brooklyn Nine-Nine fans first met the duo working an electronics store robbery — Jake delivering a Donnie Brasco speech, Amy apologising for his silliness — they’ve evolved from professional banter to a marriage proposal.

In between, they’ve argued, flirted, tried to maintain the pretence that they didn’t have feelings for each other, tentatively started dating, declared their love and more, and never in a standard fashion. There’s no doubting their wedding will turn out the same way, so here are six things we hope to see at their nuptials — or “toit nups”, as the happy couple prefers to call them.


A Nakatomi Plaza wedding cake

Imagine a towering dessert, shaped like the most iconic building in action movie history, plastered in brown icing and even featuring a liquorice ladder trailing down the side. Now, imagine it sitting on a table at Jake and Amy’s wedding. Jake’s love of Die Hard is no secret, and there’s no way this cake isn’t happening. Here’s hoping Jake also utters the phrase we all want to hear: “yippee ki-yay, mother-fudger.”


Hitchcock and Scully demolishing the Nakatomi Plaza wedding cake

Take the 99’s bumbling detective duo, place them in a room with cake and only one thing can happen: they’ll eat their way through it as quickly as they can (and probably won’t even get out of their seats to do so). We’re guessing Hitchcock and Scully will be the Hans Gruber to Jake’s John McClane — if they don’t get distracted by the rest of the wedding catering, that is. Either way, they’re bound to make a food-based scene.


A Gina Linetti dance number

Gina (Chelsea Peretti) might currently be on maternity leave, leaving the precinct with a distinctive lack of dancing, self-confidence and glitter, but you know she won’t miss the chance to attend a big occasion. Jake and Amy’s wedding is the perfect place for her to steal the show, but she’s also Jake’s oldest friend, so we’re predicting a big dance number — it puts Gina in the spotlight, and will probably give her an opportunity to both pay tribute to and make warmhearted fun of her pals.


Flowers wrapped in New York Times crossword puzzles

When Jake proposed to Amy, it was a fun, lavish and intricately staged affair, taking place at the end of the 99’s annual Halloween heist. When he realised he wanted to propose to Amy, it was much more simple — she spotted a typo in the New York Times crossword puzzle, and he just knew. Accordingly, expect crosswords to feature in their ceremony. Wrapping their flowers in puzzles from important dates in their life is a thoughtful and sensible option, but we’d love to see Amy work them into her vows.


Jake’s vows featuring a “title of your sex tape” joke

He’s been slinging “title of your sex tape” jokes at Amy for years, and we’re guessing he just won’t be able to help himself when it comes to their big day. Maybe it’ll be a “title of our sex tape” gag, although he has already let that one slip. Or, maybe he’ll reuse an old favourite, such as “I’m horrible at this — when can we stop?”, “what is taking so long?” or “I hope it wasn’t a mistake”.


A bet

Their first date came from a bet. In fact, much of the precinct’s antics revolve around a competition of some sort — the Halloween heist, Christmas carolling and throwing doughnut holes into Jake’s mouth, for example. Jake and Amy’s wedding can’t be any different, and there are just so many things to bet on. How long can Amy last without crying at something Captain Holt (Andre Braugher) says? How often can Gina mention herself in her speech? How many of Jake and Amy’s future kids will Charles (Joe Lo Truglio) come up with names for? How many times will Terry (Terry Crews) look sad when there’s no yoghurt?


Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Wednesdays at 10:15pm on SBS VICELAND. Watch Jake and Amy plan their wedding in the latest episode at SBS On Demand:

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