• Everyone’s getting nekid in 'Knightfall', including Tom Cullen as Templar Landry and Olivia Ross as Queen Joan. (SBS)Source: SBS
What’s a historical epic if not steamy?
By
Jim Mitchell

17 Jan 2018 - 3:29 PM  UPDATED 25 Jan 2018 - 12:22 PM

Knightfall may be rich in history in its depiction of the Knights Templar, but it’s also steamy as hell with ample flesh, romping, and smouldering looks to melt your chain mail and put steam up your tunic.

If you don’t believe us, here we present the hard evidence in GIFs accompanied by shamelessly hammy and suggestive commentary.

In this scene of forbidden love making between Templar Landry (Tom Cullen) and Queen Joan (Olivia Ross), the foreplay begins with a lusty visual appraisal by Landry then a spectacular ab reveal.

Landry’s words of seduction to the royal make no bone(s) about what he’s after: “There’s something about your eyes, your fine face, your fine legs, your even fine (insert intimate body part that can’t be named). Madam, I’m a lonely warrior in need of love.” Giddy up! 

How could Queenie resist that fine rig, honed by Cullen with endless hours in the gym, and presumably a delicious diet of broiled chicken and steamed broccoli?

She can’t, and as she goes in for the kill with that come-hither shoulder swagger, the pair tease each other with wanton dialogue that comes straight from their burning loins.

Queen Joan: You were not so lonely earlier today that you did not leave me in the street. Wanting.

Landry: Wanting. Wanting what?

Queen Joan: Don’t make me say it!

Landry: Say it. I like it.

Queen Joan: Wanting you!

That’s followed by a heavy sigh from Landry, a sexy almost-kiss, then one of those sensual forehead nuzzles, and some unseen fondling below the equator. We’re close to liftoff.

It’s now officially sexy time with some vigorous thrusting against the wall. How comfy!

Followed by some post-coital flattery from Landry.

“Stop it!” purrs Queen Joan.

Then it’s time for a sexy-pensive glance because it’s back to Templar drama.

But hold the phone! Could this be a moment of steamy homoerotic face time between King Philip IV (Ed Stoppard) and Landry? Immediately afterwards, the pair cross swords. No, they actually fight with steel swords. Get your mind out of the gutter, people!

While we’re there, though, here’s another couple finding their ecstasy, followed by an important looking fancy lady sashaying down a corridor looking very satisfied with herself. Ooh la la!

Now we’re in the royal boudoir where Phil smoulder-broods, clearly a little nervous at the prospect of some royal rumpy pumpy. You can tell because he’s staring into the distance as the camera pans across that handsome, perturbed face. (Either that or he’s doing the mannequin challenge. Remember that?)

In walks Queen Joan with a nod that says, “You’re about to get lucky, my King"...

And it all goes off with a bang, just like one of those unfeasibly easy to remove pieces of historical women’s wear that Joan drops to the floor with a twist of a drawstring.

A preview of episode 1 of Knightfall is streaming from 8:30pm at SBS On Demand from 25 January. Then, all episodes will be available after broadcast anytime, anywhere, for free via SBS On Demand

Knightfall premieres Thursday 1 February at 8.30pm on SBS and continues Thursdays at 9.30pm.