• Andy Samberg as Jake and Melissa Fumero as Amy in 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'. (SBS)Source: SBS
And yes, there's been quite a few.
By
Rozanne Els

21 Mar 2018 - 1:06 PM  UPDATED 21 Mar 2018 - 1:06 PM

The future of Brooklyn Nine-Nine might be uncertain — the sitcom is yet to be renewed for a sixth season — but its return this week after a mid-season break also marked the return of Detective Jake Peralta’s slick sex-tape puns. Although the will-they, won’t-they romantic intrigue between Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero) and Jake (Andy Samberg) ended in the season-two finale (they did!), Jake’s sex-tape jokes certainly did not.

Jake started poking fun at high-strung fellow cop Amy back in the first season by turning her accidental double entendres into imaginary sex-tape titles, and it has since become one of the show’s silliest running themes. We’re sure to get more before the season is over, so here is a list of every sex tape that Jake has invented on B99 so far.

 

Body Parts

Amy: I’ll get my stuff, but this better not bite me in the ass.
Jake: This Better Not Bite Me in the Ass, name of your sex tape.

Amy: Why doesn’t your mouth work?
Jake: Why Doesn’t Your Mouth Work? Title of our sex tape.
Amy: What?
Jake: Your sex tape!

Gina: Eek, blast of cold air coming out of that box.
Jake: Name of Amy’s sex tape!

Amy: I just got it out of the vent to rub it in your faces.
JakeI Just Got It Out of the Vent to Rub It in Your Faces, name of your sex tape.

Judge Marinovich: One more “but”, and you will be in contempt.
Jake: One More “Butt” and You’re in Contempt, name of your sex tape.

 

Ground Rules

Amy: Just as long as we’re clear, I’m with someone and nothing is going to happen.
Jake: I’m With Someone, Nothing’s Going to Happen, name of your sex tape.

Jake: So… we broke a rule.
Amy: Yeah… I hope it wasn’t a mistake.
Jake: I Hope It Wasn’t a Mistake, title of your sex tape. Title of our sex tape!

Expertise

Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober and fully dressed?
Jake: Kind, Sober and Fully Dressed. Good news everyone, we found the name of Santiago’s sex tape!

Amy: I’m sorry about tonight.
Jake: I’m Sorry About Tonight! We found the title for Santiago’s follow-up sex tape.

Amy: It’s not your fault, I was terrible.
Jake: It’s Not Your Fault, I Was Terrible is also one of your sex tapes.

Amy [to Jake]: It was slightly less unbearable with you. [Pause] Don’t!

Amy: I’m horrible at this. When can we stop?
Jake: I’m Horrible at This—
Amy: I know, I know. Title of my sex tape.
Jake: Huh, well done. Title of my sex tape!

Amy: I’ve been looking, but I can’t find anything and I don’t know what to do.
Jake: I Can’t Find Anything and I Don’t Know What to Do, title of your sex tape.

Amy: I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s happening right now
Jake: I’m So Confused, I Don’t Know What’s Happening Right Now, title of your sex tape.

 

That Awkward Moment

Amy: Not even going to touch that.
Jake: The Amy Santiago Story.

Jake [to Captain Holt]: My mother has a fantastic basement. Title of your sex tape. Too soon?

Amy: Uh-oh. I hope it doesn’t get too sexual.
Jake: Uh-Oh, I Hope It Doesn’t Get Too Sexual, title of your sex tape. But seriously, what is taking so long? Also, the title of your sex tape.

Amy [after Jake proposes]: Oh my God, I’m shaking, I’m definitely gonna cry. Title of your sex tape?

Amy: I could go on and on and on.
Jake: Is something no lover of yours has ever said.

Seamus Murphy: Let’s kill them both, get out of here before the cops come.
Jake: Wait, no, no, no, I was lying about the backup. I came alone. Title of my sex tape!

 

Watch the return of Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Wednesday 21 March at 8pm on SBS VICELAND. You can watch episodes fast-tracked after US broadcast from 3pm every Monday afternoon.

Watch the latest episode at SBS On Demand:

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This article originally appeared on Vulture ©2018 All rights reserved. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.