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New books to help adoptive parents and carers of children who’ve suffered trauma

Darcy Rose author of "Understanding the Monster in Your Child’s Mirror" and "Understanding the Monster in My Mirror"

The books Understanding the Monster in Your Child’s Mirror and Understanding the Monster in My Mirror are tools for foster parents and carers to understand children who have suffered trauma.

The aim of the first book, Understanding the Monster in Your Child’s Mirror , is to help anyone reading it to connect with their inner-self so that they are better equipped to support children who have endured trauma with emotionally challenged minds, or to understand and overcome the monster in their own mirror.

In a conversation with NITV Radio, author Darcy Rose explained that the "monster in a child’s mirror" is actually a metaphor to tell the shame, the lack of self-belief and lack of self-esteem where children don’t believe in themselves and constantly blame themselves for the conditions in which they are in.

“When children come into foster care or the adoption program, they might have experienced a lot of trauma.”

Darcy Rose cites her own relationship with Isabel, her daughter as an example. Darcy was Isabel’s fourth mother when she was only 4 years old.

“Imagine how traumatising that could be, having four mothers by the time you are four years old. How confused do you think you’d be?” Darcy questions.

Every twelve months children are introduced to new people and given away to a new home, to new people to call mom and dad.

“Often children lose trust believing that everyone is lying to them. Everyone tells them they are going to keep them but then ends up giving them away. So, the monster that they live with is shame and negative emotions.”

The second book,Understanding the Monster in My Mirror; is designed for carers, parents, family and friends. It continues on from the children’s book.

This book is also a tool for psychologists, teachers, art and music therapists, post adoption families, social workers, support groups, youth workers, and anyone who has ever suffered from any form of trauma.

The aim is to equip them with a greater understanding about the existence of the monster of shame in their child’s mirror, and to give them the knowledge of what they can do to help them break the shame cycle and follow the light to a happier life.

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