(Screened: Sunday 4 May, 7.40pm)
In this '80s all-star camp classic, a bored alien king - Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow) - keeps the blues at bay by conuring up a series of disasters on Earth - earthquakes, tidal waves, and 'hot hail'. He doesn't count on coming up against the star footballer and everyday hero Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones), who leads the charge to save the earth from certain destruction, and save a stunning damsel from being bedded by the evil Ming. Retrotastic special effects, lines like "The ice jewel is our tribute, not Vultan's", and a soundtrack by Queen make this required viewing for any self-respecting B-movie buff.
(Screened: Monday 5 May, 10.30pm)
Lesbian Vampire Killers
The movie that launched a thousand google searches brings together brit actors James Corden and Matthew Horne (Gavin & Stacey) in a plot about foxy tourists transformed into sapphic bloodsuckers. It's wacky and saucy and has everything that all good B-movies should have - including the embarassment of the lead actors, who have since tried to distance themselves from it.
(Screened Tuesday 6 May, 10.15pm)
*Not available to watch online
Two sisters are given a kick-arse makeover in order to become cyborg assassins. Their weapons of torture are unique and effective (no spoliers) and the girls take sibling rivalry to new heights (depths?) in a bid to outdo each other as killing machines. There is also a major plot point involving a robot castle, which should give amateur DIY enthusiasts some food for thought.
(Screened: Wednesday 7 May, 8.30pm + 10.15pm)
This unique double feature presents an absurdist revision of history, as it relates to the fate of the Third Reich.
Finnish-German-Australian co-production Iron Sky (8.30pm) presents the loopy hypothesis that the Nazis took off for outer space when it became apparent that they would be unable to stave off the Allied Forces' campaign; apparently generations of stormtroopers have been living long and prospering on the dark side of the moon since 1945. Two wayward astronauts and an impending American presidential election bring them back from the beyond, and disturbingly, the ruthless players in the political race are more than happy to adopt the policies that are quite literally out of this world, in order to attain power.
*Not available online
And stick around afterwards for Dead Snow (10.15pm), in which the events of WW2 are once again revisited, to reveal that not even death can thwart the threat of Nazism. This cult gross-out hit from Norway has the footsoldiers of the evil empire rise from their graves when a group of boozy med students happen upon a treasure trove of stolen Nazi gold. It's gory in the extreme (how else to describe the use of intestines as bungee rope?), with direct references to the works of Sam Raimi and early Peter Jackson.
Thursday 8 May, 11.05pm
Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl
The same team that brought you Robogeisha on Tuesday night is responsibile for this bad taste foray into Japaneese teen psychosis. A high school love triangle involves more drama than usual when one of the jilted parties enlists the help of her dad, who also happens to be both the school vice principal and its science teacher. As luck would have it, her dastardly dad dabbles in scientific experiments outside of the curriculum, which involve reanimating the corpses of students.
Friday 9 May, 11.40pm
Strippers Vs. Werewolves
We end our celebration of schlock with a classy battle between Flesh and Fur. When an exotic dancer accidentally kills a hairy patron, the Vixens strip club comes under seige by a pack of werewolves intent on avenging the death of one of their own. Preparations are hasty, as the lusty ladies arm themselves for the coming battle, which is swift and bloody when it comes, and is chock full of '80s genre references.