Dan, a disgraced soccer star, finds himself serving a prison term. Burton, the chief guard, played by Ralph Brown, coaches the prison footie team, and he objects to the fact that the prison governor, David Hemmings, wants Danny Meehan to take over the job. Meehan proposes a match between a team of convicts and a team of guards and the Governor, a gambling addict, is only too pleased at the chance to win a lot of money ?if the guards win. The main reason to see Mean Machine is Vinnie Jones. The former soccer star turned actor, who made an impact in Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, has the leading role here, and he displays plenty of charisma as the brooding, resilient convict. The film is a remake of the 1974 Robert Aldrich vehicle, The Longest Yard, which was called The Mean Machine in Britain; Burt Reynolds played the lead in that one, with Eddie Albert as the Governor, and it was a pretty good movie. The new one doesn?t come close. The script is a mass of cliches, and the philosophical old timer, played by David Kelly, is just the biggest clich? of many. Maybe if you?re more of a soccer fan than I am, you might enjoy the protracted final confrontation.