After winning the lottery, a lonely office worker, François (Bernard Campan), offers an enticing proposal to a beautiful prostitute, Daniela (Monica Bellucci). She can stake claim to part of his fortune, provided she performs her erotic services until the money's runs out. What follows is a complicated game of wits, as negotiations get underway to see just what Daniela's love is worth, with everyone, including Daniela's gangster boyfriend (Gérard Depardieu), having their say.

It is wayward in its logic and poorly constructed in its narrative.

Combien tu m'aimes? (How Much Do You Love Me?) is the new film by veteran French director, Bertrand Blier (Too Beautiful For You). It features an all-star European cast including Monica Belucci (Malena, Matrix 3, The Brothers Grimm), Gerard Depardieu (Tais-Toi!, 36 Quai Des Orfevres, Green card), Bernard Campan (Accidental Saint) and Jean-Pierre Daroussin (A Very Long Engagement).

Blier throws stars Campan, Belucci and Depardieu headlong into a bizarre love triangle in this his thirteenth feature as a writer/director. Campan plays Francois, a lonely French 'every man' who has just won the national lottery. On a whim he invites prostitute Daniela (Belucci) to come and indulge a fantasy: to move in with him as his loving wife for which he will pay her a small fortune. It doesn't take long for her to make up her mind. That night she goes home with him and embarks on this affair seemingly for both love and money. Once he learns of the arrangement, Daniela's pimp boyfriend Charly (Depardieu) isn't happy, nor with the apparent domestic goddess Daniela transforms into.

The fun and games start from there' How Much Do You Love Me? is one of the worst cinematic 'trifles' I have seen come from French cinema since Bertolucci's The Dreamers (2003). Indulgent, arrogant and misogynist, this is one of those films a director made just 'because he can'. It is wayward in its logic, poorly constructed in its narrative and puts back male-female relations thirty years, back to apparent 'hey day' that was the free love sixties. (Clearly the generation of audienace Blier is aiming this film at). 'How Much Do You Own Her?' might have been a more appropriate title, be truer to the arcane sexual politics on display here. No matter which way you hold it up to the light (and how much of Belucci's naked body exploited for it), How Much Do You Love Me is a dud.

Talk about killing erotica, romance and fun in a movie that was supposed to deliver all three. The only relief in sight was the hilarious diatribe about the female orgasm delivered by actress Farida Rahouadj, playing Francois' nosy neighbour, and in a couple of kooky dance sequences. But even the inclusion of those scenes couldn't save it from a fate worse than terrible. How much do I loathe this movie?