Filed under: "Sounds fake but OK."
Stephanie Marie Anderson

6 Oct 2016 - 2:37 PM  UPDATED 6 Oct 2016 - 2:56 PM

In today's news, we have a right-wing conservative in the USA who's claiming that Hurricane Matthew was sent by God to punish the cities of Orlando and Savannah for holding Gay Pride parades.

Okay, bear with me because this is a LOT to take in, k?

This guy Andrew Bieszad wrote an entire essay on the topic, so let's have a look and see what he reckons, yeah? It was posted to the site, which is not - as I originally thought - a site about shoes that look like bats, bats that look like shoes, or any other combination of shoes + bats, surprisingly. It's named after anti-gay extremists Walid and Theodore Shoebat.

First up, let's talk about this headline:

Wow, who knew, right?!

Now, you may have thought that Hurricane Matthew was caused by, you know... weather things (I do not know what causes hurricanes), but according to ol' mate Andy, NOPE! Thankfully, Andy cleared it up for us, writing:

The Bible clearly teaches that in the Old Testament whenever the Hebrews were very disobedient towards God, He would send punishments against them, many times in the forms of natural disasters. Christian history also recognizes the same, where God will use His creation to execute judgment against the wicked. While not all bad weather is necessarily a sign of sin, both sacred scripture and sacred tradition clearly note that it can be so. Now we know that Florida is an area that is infected with sin, especially cities such as Miami and Orlando, which are veritable dens of sodomy.

Now, on the one hand, I would argue that if you're using the Old Testament and Leviticus to fuel your anti-gay bigotry, then what you're saying to your God is that Jesus' sacrifice wasn't enough for you, so perhaps you should have a look at what you actually believe. Here's a whole post talking about that.

On the other hand, I've seen Spring Breakers - set in Miami - and I cannot disagree that "Florida is an area that is infected with sin," because look at James Franco in that film:

But instead of looking at mere particularities, I thought I would ask a broader question- Is there any “homosexual” activities going on this month in either the Orlando or Savannah areas?

Detective Andy and the Curious Case of the Gay-Hating Hurricane, coming soon to a Westboro Baptist Theatre near you.

Sure enough, I found that both Orlando and Savannah are having massive sodomite pride parades this month, especially in Orlando, which is sponsoring this very weekend as the hurricane is about to hit a massive “coming out” parade sponsored no less than with the major support of the city itself and major corporate backers.

…A hurricane- the storms from an evil being- named after the New Testament Evangelist whose symbol is an angel- a messenger of God and and executor of His will among and upon men- is about to make landfall on the exact area where two massive sodomite parades are taking place and almost to the day for the largest one, and the exact day the hurricane is scheduled to hit is the Feast Day of the Holiest Prayer in the Catholic Church used to fight the most wicked of sins and heresies given by the Mother of God herself.

I mean honestly if your sentence is five lines long, it's too long, and that's all I have to say about that.

The article concludes:

Coincidence? You be the judge. Personally, given America’s love affair with the worst forms of perversity, it is a sign of His anger against us for our obstinate attitude towards sin and refusal to repent for our evil ways.

You want to stop not this hurricane, but future catastrophes? Then stop sinning, especially with sodomy, as it is one of the four sins in the Bible which cry out to God for vengeance, which we are seeing now.

Counterpoint: Maybe it's this.

You can read the rest of old mate Andy's post here.