Recently my dad wrote a column called, "The day I told my sons I’m gay". When he told me he was writing it, both my younger brother Aydan and I just kind of shrugged our shoulders and said, “Okay, cool, whatever”. Our dad being gay really isn’t a big deal and it doesn’t bother us who knows. It just is what it is. To us, dad is still the same funny, annoying, great person that he always was.
When my dad came out, I was 8 and Aydan was 6. I know Dad says we were all crying, but to be honest, it’s hard to remember much about it now. It seems like a lifetime ago. I know Dad was really devastated about it. But Aydan and I were more upset that we wouldn’t all be living as a family with Mum and Dad anymore.
Although I recall having a general understanding of what being gay meant, I was still a bit confused about the new situation. To Aydan, the news didn’t make much difference, but I was initially a little embarrassed. I’d think to myself, “why does Dad want to be with a man and not Mum?”
At first I was a bit worried as to how my friends and the other kids at school would react when they found out Dad was gay, so I never really told anyone. I’d say my Mum and Dad had split up, but I kept the reason a secret. For a while I was kind of distant with Dad, trying to let it all sink in. I guess I was just trying to adjust to everything going on – it’s a lot for an 8-year-old to deal with.
However as I got older, I began to realise that there were bigger things to worry about in life, and that my dad being gay was not a major problem. Eventually I wrapped my head around it and the situation just became completely normal to me. I never worried about it from that point onwards. I actually reckon anyone who really hates on the idea is possibly in denial themselves. Aydan was totally cool with it, too. If anyone asked him about dad, he’d just say, “So my dad is bent – big deal!”
"Aydan and I are into what most teenage boys are into – we have hobbies, girlfriends and ambitions. We accept our parents lead separate lives and we love them for who they are."
And for anyone who may have worried about how the news would affect our upbringing, let me fill you in: we’re fine. Aydan and I are into what most teenage boys are into – we have hobbies, girlfriends and ambitions. We accept our parents lead separate lives and we love them for who they are. It’s all good.
While we’re comfortable with the concept of Dad being gay, the bigger challenge for us has been seeing Dad with his boyfriends. It’s never easy seeing either of your parents with new partners, but when your dad is now dating another man, well let’s just say it’s been interesting…