A very important investigation by SBS Sexuality.
By
Stephanie Marie Anderson

7 Oct 2016 - 1:38 PM  UPDATED 7 Oct 2016 - 1:24 PM

Good afternoon, and welcome back to the SBS Sexuality detective agency, where we examine the big mysteries of the LGBTQIA+ community.

We're gathered here today because there are rumours of a HOLLYWOOD ROMANCE in the air.

The suspects? Broad City's Abbi Jacobson and Portlandia's Carrie Brownstein.

The context? People think they're dating.

Join us, as we examine the evidence.

Exhibit A: This video of Abbi with Carrie's dog

 

Evidence for: This video is shot at a beach, a location considered romantic by many. For example, a trope of dating shows is for someone to say that they enjoy "long, romantic walks on the beach".

Evidence against: This video does not show any lesbian activity and is, in fact, just a video of Abbi with a dog.

Verdict: Inconclusive.

Exhibit B: This photo of Abbi wishing Carrie a happy birthday

 

Evidence for: Sunsets and sunrises are NOTORIOUS backdrops for ROMANCE and a public happy birthday is a definite sign of LOVE.

Evidence against: Still no lesbian activity. Also, I signed a birthday card for someone in this office the other day and honestly... like I don't really even know what she does.

Verdict: Inconclusive.

Exhibit C: This photo of them together on the set of Portlandia

 

Evidence for: You know who poses for photos together? Couples. Couples who are IN LOVE.

Evidence against: Abbi is guest-starring on Portlandia, and sometimes co-workers also take photos together, especially when they need to promote projects they have worked on together.

Verdict: Inconclusive.

Exhibit D: A friend of a friend of mine saw them eating breakfast together in LA recently and reckons they're defs a couple

Evidence for: My desire to believe in celebrity rumours, the fact that breakfast is a ~morning after~ meal.

Evidence against: They did not have sex at said breakfast location, also, sometimes friends have breakfast together.

Verdict: Inconclusive.

Exhibit E: A friend of Stef from Autostraddle reckons they've been "canoodling up a storm" in Portland

Evidence for: Guys I just really want this to be true.

Evidence against: Where are the receipts, Stef's friend?

Verdict: I just want it to be true.

The Final Verdict: We need more evidence.

Ladies, anytime you want to confirm or deny, we'll be here, waiting, with our magnifying glasses, like the VERY GOOD DETECTIVES WE ARE.