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Even if a boy finds a trans girl attractive, "it could be social suicide if he acts on his feelings," writes Jazz. "I know this, because this is my life."
By
Stephanie Marie Anderson

21 Oct 2016 - 4:24 PM  UPDATED 21 Oct 2016 - 4:18 PM

At just 15, Jazz Jennings already has her own YouTube channel, a memoir, and her own reality show, all about her life as a transgender teenager. This month, she's written a column for Harper's Bazaar, opening up about her thoughts on love, dating and the realities of being a trans girl at high school.

She opens the piece by saying that she dreams of falling in love, saying: "As a 15-year-old teenage girl, I can attest to the fact that boys dominate most conversations between girls my age."

Speaking of the other teens at her school, she recounts how girls will gather the courage to reveal their feelings to their crush - or at least get their best friend to relay the news for them - but notes that there is "a whole new set of rules" when it comes to being a trans girl looking to date.

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"Let's face it," she writes, "your average straight cis-gender teenage boy isn't going to pursue a relationship with a trans-girl."

Jazz continues, saying: "Even if he does find her attractive, it could be social suicide if he acts on his feelings. I know this, because this is my life."

She writes that she knows that there are "boys who don't mind dating girls with male genitalia," but notes that "the majority won't".

"Boys flirt and hug my friends, but they just whisk by me as if I don't exist," she observes, adding that when playing truth or dare with friends, there's often a dare to kiss someone. 

"I was never that someone," she writes. "Most kids would 'truth' me."

"I've resigned myself to the fact that it will be awhile before I experience love," Jazz says. "I'm okay. I'm a patient person. I can wait for my prince charming."

But wait, because this story has a plot-twist worthy of its own rom-com.

Jazz reveals that recently, she got a text from an old friend (an old crush, as it turns out), a boy who knows she's trans and doesn't care. She writes that although she was "apprehensive" and "afraid of getting hurt", that she said yes when he asked her out.

"I took a chance," she writes, "and I met him for a date at a butterfly park. Such a beautiful place for a real first date."

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“I hope that people take from this that trans people don’t all look the same,” the pair who started the hashtag said. “They’re not all white, skinny and androgynous people — they’re all unique and they’re all valid.”

And although she notes all the regular awkwardness of dating at 15 - from sweaty palms to butterflies in the stomach and a heart beating 100 miles a minute, "the conversation flowed", and it seems like the pair might go out again in the future:

"It was a great afternoon, and he even told me he'd like to go out again," she writes, adding that "the risk was worth the reward."

"I hugged him goodbye and said, 'I'd like that.'"

You can read Jazz' full piece here.