Just when you were thinking "wow, 2016 has been a wild ride that cannot get any weirder", December has brought us this story to remind us that the year's not over yet.
The Spiritual Science Research Foundation has declared that up to 85% of gay men aren't actually gay—they're just possessed by female ghosts.
The organisation reckons it's a “world leader in spiritual research”, and has thousands of followers online. If you're looking to find them in the real world, they're located in a New Jersey shopping centre.
Publishing their very official and scientific findings on their website, they wrote:
“The main reason behind the gay orientation of some men is that they are possessed by female ghosts.
“It is the female ghost in them that is attracted to other men. Conversely the attraction to females experienced by some lesbians is due to the presence of male ghosts in them.
“The ghost’s consciousness overpowers the person’s normal behaviour to produce the homosexual attraction. Spiritual research has shown that the cause for homosexual preferences lie predominantly in the spiritual realm.”
If you're still unconvinced, never fear, because they have provided a very factual and official graph, breaking down the ~root causes~ of homosexuality.
See? "Mainly ghosts". It's all very official. But wait, because there's more. Their website continues:
“Due to being possessed by ghosts, the majority of the LGBT population is more susceptible to being influenced by negative energies who give them thoughts to encourage them to display their homosexuality in a shameless and even aggressive manner.
“Among the LGBT population the primary focus in life is their homosexuality and all else revolves around it. In Gay Parades, there are also elements of exhibitionism and narcissism. It is in a way selfish to showcase one’s own homosexuality. Should the heterosexual community then also showcase their heterosexuality? Basically, sexuality is something private and should be kept private and not displayed in public.
“Just as we teach children not to play in dirty water or eat mud, we need to educate society what is correct from a spiritual perspective. By failing to do so, we run the risk of a further decline in Righteousness and consequently people in society will become more unhappy.”
For the record, they think gay sex is "5% as sinful as murder". We have 23 days until the end of 2016, what more can we realise in this time?