• Is a wedding the appropriate occasion to come out as gay? (iStockphoto)Source: iStockphoto
"I’m queer and I gotta say, a sibs wedding would NOT be the place to trot out that bit of my life."
Samuel Leighton-Dore

21 Aug 2019 - 10:06 AM  UPDATED 21 Aug 2019 - 10:11 AM

An anonymous user on Reddit has called on the internet for advice about his upcoming wedding.

Sharing a post on Reddit’s ‘Am I The Asshole' (AITA) subreddit, which focuses on ethical and social dilemmas, the man explained that his brother is gay, but not openly so with their extended family. He's now wondering whether or not it's acceptable for his brother to bring his partner along to the wedding - essentially coming out to their family on his big day.

“My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know," the user wrote.

“My brother has been dating his bf for 6 months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay.”

He continued: “If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that."

The poster explained that he was worried his brother's news would overshadow he and his fiancée's special day.

“Imagine all the drama and gossip and bullsh*t that would happen," he wrote. "And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day.

“I don’t wanna have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason.”

The poster said that he and his brother had discussed the situation and, while he claimed to understand, their relationship has gotten a bit "weird" since. Now he's wondering whether he went about it the right way.

“Am I the a**hole for handling it the way I did?” He asked.

And well, the internet answered.

Coming out to LGBTIQ+ parents - and why it’s still hard
"Even in a rainbow family you aren’t completely free of internalised stereotypical assumptions."

“God I’m queer and I gotta say, a sibs wedding would NOT be the place to trot out that bit of my life,” one user responded.

Another mused that the brother might have been hoping that the wedding would be a distraction.

“I think brother wants to piggyback on the wedding to use it as a distraction tool," the redditor wrote.

"He comes to the wedding with his bf, family is shocked, but can’t really deal with/react to the issue because wedding, so impact for him is softened.

“He’s relying on social politeness norms to sneak in a heavy topic.”

With over 4,500 responses, the topic brought out a lot of opinions - most of which appeared to agree with the original poster's outlook.

"If the brother was already out? It would have been a different verdict, but using the wedding to come out is such a jerk thing to do, the day should be about the bride and groom," one wrote.

"There's a million other holidays and special occasions... it's like the pride version of announcing you're pregnant or asking someone to marry you at someone else's wedding."

*Sigh* family drama.

What do you think?

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